Judge, 1889-02-16 · page 4 of 16
Judge — February 16, 1889 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page collects brief satirical commentary on contemporary issues (circa 1880s-90s). Key items include: **"Just Before the Anthem"**: A child's joke about his grandmother singing at church—he suggests collecting money first, implying her singing is so bad it requires compensation. **Political/Social Jabs**: References to Cleveland (likely President Grover Cleveland), Secretary of State Bayard's handling of a damaged American flag from Samoa (a diplomatic incident), and Stanley's African explorations. The German politics comment satirizes corrupt European governments versus American democracy. **Dark Humor Items**: Cynical observations on capital punishment (electricity execution in Rochester), Chinese substitute execution practice, and a murderer who prefers death to state prison—all commentary on contemporary justice system absurdities. **Theater Sketches** ("On the Rialto" and "On the Road"): Satirize struggling actors and theatrical life, with an Italian reference suggesting pretension. The overall tone is sardonic commentary on politics, justice, entertainment, and social hypocrisy.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUST BEFORE THE ANTHEM. Littie Rosert- His PATHER— “Say, pop, is gran'marm goin’ ter sing?” s-sh! Of course she is.” Litre Rowert—" Better tell 'm ter take up th’ c'llection first.” HUM OF THE COURT. VALENTINE TO MR. CLEVE and flee. WHEN HEARTS are trumps—On the 14th of Februs way on alll the other days. THE OLD apvic n to say no,” is believed by a young man not to apply to any of the girls. STANLEY KNOWS all about Africa, and if he can't find himself no other man had better undertake the job. ‘(THE HUNDRED best books” question is decided, of course, in favor of that number of copies of the JUDGE. .AND—When this you see pack up y; and by the POEM written by Henry Clay appears in a recent magazine; but it must be said in behalf of the defendant that he prevented its publi- cation as long as he lived. WHEN MR. BAYARD got that tattered American flag {rom Samoa he was half inclined in his immediate disgust to recall an old order of the president and hand it right over to the southern confeders HERE IS SO much scandal in German politics just now that the Teuton over there must occasionally imagine himself in the land of the free. THE VALENTINE that came to Mary Washington on the 22d of February was a little behind time, but the postal service was very incomplete in those days. A CHINESE CRIMINAL condemned to death can hire a man to do the dying for him if he has money enough; and, oddly enough, no substitute has ever returned to say that he got the best or the worst of the bargain. A MURDERER in Rochester will be the first, it is thought, to suffer legal death by electricity; but he thinks the experiment will give him as great posthumous satisfaction as Sam Patch ever had, and is in- clined to be proud and put on airs. R. REICH, who was saved from the gallows to go to state-prison for life, was as happy over his change of sentence as if he had been given two or three more wives to love and finally murder. That is what life is worth—to the person who is not murdered. ON THE RIALTO. Leonardo! Forced into the orchestra, I see, Hut 7 Secoxn actor—"* The orchestra be driveled! I go to Kansas City to- night, and this, perchance, may help me back.” ON THE ROAD. It is indeed a mighty scheme, comicbooks.com