Judge, 1889-02-16 · page 5 of 16
Judge — February 16, 1889 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several short humorous pieces typical of *Judge* magazine's satirical style: **"Last Year's Valentine"** mocks romantic desperation—a man's passionate love letter becomes embarrassing once the woman marries someone else and retains the valentine as evidence of his foolishness. **"Got It At Last"** is a children's joke playing on homophone confusion: a boy spells "rats" as "r-a-t-" then answers "beer" when prompted about evening meals, accidentally completing "r-a-t-beer." **"Skating"** and other brief pieces satirize social pretension and class differences—the humor derives from contrasting how different people experience the same situation (wealthy vs. working-class behavior, or male vs. female perspectives). **"A Duplication of Ideas"** features Fritz Spielflugel, an apparent immigrant musician (indicated by heavy dialect spelling), arguing with his band about which song to play. The punchline reveals he was literally struck—hit—by his own band members, explaining the double meaning of "struck." The satire targets immigrant accents, social awkwardness, marital disappointment, and class pretension common to *Judge's* audience expectations.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
WROTE a valentine To tender eyes benign, To lips so bright, Whose charms, I do not joke, Haunted my days and broke My rest at night. This valentine, observe, ‘Was ful! of vim and nerve: I feared not then The critics’ scorn, nor laugh Of pretty girls, nor chaff Of stalwart men, I wrote with brain and heart ; My desperate soul took part In pledge and vow, Content the world should know ; ‘That was a year ago, But now—oh, now— Both strength and courage quail, My very heart turns pale, Such woe is mine! She's dead? Ah, no, alas; She's wed, and still she has ‘That valentine! M.S. BRIDGES, GOT IT AT LAST. The little boy had been told to spell rats, and got as far as r- Pausing for reflection, his mother said, “ What do we drink at the evening meal ?” “ Beer,” said the little boy, and the spelling was done. SKATING. Even the bending ice will break. You always break the sI u have borrowed. The novice in the. secluded part of the pond takes many a quiet tumble. It is the same on the ice as anywhere else—the small boy's fun inter- feres with other people's pleasure. The pretty girl who falls on the ice may see stars, but the bad man who is watching her sees another kind of heavenly body. AS IT GOES. Ploce, popular café ; time, 1.30 a.m. TremLow (who has dined’ window I've ever looked out of. Beblest if this isn’t the most (Aicglag!—) interestin’ UNCOMPREHENSIVE. Mr. Tuowr (who is lunching his cousin at a country hotel) —"* You may bring a filet for two, and a small bottle, waiter.” Tur Warrex: kin give yer all th’ cider yer want out 'r small 'r big bottles, but th’ boss swapped his last filly more ‘na week, ago. RATTLED THE OLD MAN. Mr, Robert Oatcake (riding with his uncle on 125th street)—" These cable-cars are a great convenience, Uncle Abner. So much faster than the horse-cars, you know. Uncle Abner—"\-y-yes, Bob. If a feller h-had loose t-teeth in his h-head they'd s-save the expense of a d-dentist. DECEPTIVE APPEARANCES. Robley—" Slimley’s landlady must make a good round profit off of Why, he’s thin as a mosquitc Wiggins— Bah! don't judge by that, my boy. got the appetite of one. him, He's A DUPLICATION OF RITZ SPIELFLUGEL stood out- side of Gerlach’s bier gallery in a meditative mood, and knowing him well from the number of pennies | had dropped into his velvet cap in the past, T accosted him. “What's wrong with the band, Fritzey 2" I asked. “I've not heard you boys playing lately.” “Oh, vell,""he replied, removing his pipe for a moment, “ve vos shdruck.”” * Struck ?” IDEAS. I thought you were the leader, and in one sense the proprietor of that aggregation of talent: known as Spielflugel’s clarionet band,” I ex- claimed. “Ya-a-as, dot vos so, but ven der fellers vanted ter blay ‘ Plue Danube’ unt I vanted ter lay der* Perlin Kervickshdep,’ unt dey kicked me owed der shdreet acrosd der door ohf der saloon, 1 shdruck,” and he resumed his smoke. * But I thought you just said the band struck.” Slowly taking off his cap he bent his head down, and displaying a bump on the top of his cranium as big as a bil- liard-ball, he remarked: “Ohf you don'd pelieve dey did loogk at dot! Dey shdruck too!” I gave him the price of a schooner and moved on. It does seem strange, I do declare, ‘That a year of married life Can change the dear with the auburn hair To the red-headed wife. comicbooks.com