Judge — February 9, 1889 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE MEN WE HAVE MET. THOMAS N. HART, MAYOR OF BOSTON, [7 USED to be the regular form of invitation for a Boston man to say to the barbarian stranger within the gates of the city, “Let’s go down to Young's and get some fish-balls with bean curry.” Since the recent municipal election this formula has materially changed, and now the proud citizen of the Hub exclaims with a mixture of cordiality and ostentation, “I want to take you right down and see the Hart of the city.” After a thrilling game of Egyptian labyrinth, played through the alleyways, tunnels and back- yard passages which are always referred to in Boston as “streets,” you reach the city hall (via Parker's lunch-room, if you are that way inclined,) and are introduced to as wiry, clean-cut and aggres- SMOTHERED ART. sive a bunch of mayoralty as ever vetoed a bill or Hex: Gomnow= 0-4 meee heard soloed goers ‘sat on a measure. in my life as that one last night.” Mr. Hart owes his election principally to the Mrs. Extson—"* What was it? ~ ; an ihe . Mrs, Gorrow—'" I don't remember the name, but fact that he got more votes than the other fellow. that Col. Price from Baltimore was in our box and he told This may seem weird and strange, but Boston, you us all about how to cook terrapin-and-champegne stew.” must remember, is a strange town. The defeated candidate, O'Brien by name, had become some- vhat tired of eating owls-from-the-north and brazed turbot at Taft's Point Shirley emporium, and then having as chief niagistrate to sit down on the city’s paying for the junketing, and seeing that a pretty decent specimen of a down-east Yankee was to run against him, he cast precedent to the winds ahd instructed his healers (this is the way they spell it in Boston) to use every effort to defeat—not Mr. Hart, but himself. It cost a great deal of money and much work, but a steady and unwavering determination to pay for no more aldermanic dinners won the day, and Mr, Hart was elected. Some of the untruthful Boston papers attributed Mr. O'Brien's defeat to his stand on the race question, religion, text-books for the public schools. and other unimportant and cursory subjects ; but we have it on the authority of a discharged bird-plucker from Taft's that the paramount reason was pure and simple reticence to board the board of aldermen—and himself. Mr, Hart, when he can tear himself away from questions involving such itineracy as painting the Tombs portico, or signing new horse-car per- mits, carries on a hat business, with furs as trimmings. . He is a wide-awake, conservative business man, and common report has it that he laid the foundation for his fortune by inventing a distending hat which was immediately adopted by the Somerset club men, and boomed by them into eternal popularity. He is very fond of telling a little story of himself, the point of which is that when a boy he could run so fast that his father was perpetually exclaiming, “| haven't the Hart to lick him.” ‘This last specimen was sent us by maiPfrom Boston as being a bright, scintillating and chunky bit of humor. It has so affected us that we can say no more than that we sincerely hope that Boston will wear her Hart on her sleeve for many years to come. FAVORABLE EVIDENCE. - “1 say, Tom,” said Baboony,"" | eawn’t believe that fellaw, Wye, we met lawst night is an Englishman at all; at least he hasn't mong wefined people on the othaw “Hasn't, eh?” returned Wiggins. “Why, he speaks like a well-bred American.” “RESPECTFULLY DECLINED.” In this life of fleeting fancies Disappointment you will find, But the hardest to encounter Is the one 1 have in mind, When you've written dainty verses ‘That (you think) with pearis are lined, You get your priceless MSS, ™ Respectfully declined T can bear the daily burden, Nurse the sick or lead the blind ; Can laugh in glee at poverty With all its ceaseless grind ; But so long as life is left me I shall never be resigned To the fate that gets my MSS. “ Respectfully declined.” Now I wish no harm or evil To these editors unkind, But if I'm first in heaven ‘And they come along behind, T shall have a big “ blue pencil” That St. Peter quick can find, So they'll get their applications Most “* respectfully declined.” LUEANA W. SHELDON. A FAVORITE TOPIC. “Don't you think it strange that Mr. ney Bjones never gets tired from talking so A CRUSHER FOR JAMESON. much >" asked Merritt. “Not at all,” returned Miss Snyder, with a smile: “you see he always speaks Miss GRANTAWAY: ‘He is rather talkative, isn't he?” about himself,’ not said a wont for ten minutes)—" You d-don't know how T envy your comicbooks.com