Judge — February 9, 1889 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AFTER DINNER. 1am just a bit under ‘The reason? Why, Gracie can't make mea saint And I cannot make her a sinner, T ought to rejoice? Yes, T know it, 1 do, Though a chorus girl's rarely so chary. 1 like her the more that her instinets are true, ‘Though it’s out of the question to marry. But, hang it! you see, if she'd only con- sent, Or only permit me to leave her, I might find in absence a shade of con- tent, And-she'd have but the memory to grieve her. Why doesn’t she send me? Or why don’t I go? Well, may be our faith we are proving. It is given, dear boy, few mortals to know Why we must goon living and loving. RDWIN ATWRLL, QUITE NATURAL. An old fellow who had a perfect horror of doctors was in the habit, when told that some- one he knew was dead, of ask- ing: “Of whom did he die?” ALL FOR ECONOMY. Mrs, Smith (2 a.m)j—"John cashier ‘Il do, ma’am.” 285 REVENGE IS SWEET. Jawkins (entering his friend’s room suddenly)—" Are you crazy, John? Why on earth are you whirling that police man’s rattle 2” Hogg—" Getting even with the new boarder next door! He's practising on a type- writer.” AT PARTING. “Another evening of delight; With you how speed the hours in fight! “Tis lite and I must say * good-night The clock gives warning. In parting kiss their lips onite; And then she says, eyes glowing bright: * Don’t tie, dear Fred, and say * good- But say * good-morning’. A LEASE OF SPORADIC VEGETATION. Wagsbee (spooning together the scattered peas in the very diminutive “sample” brought him by the waiter) —“There, poor things ! snuggle up together and keep as warm as you till I get a chance to tuck yor with a comfortable mouthful ANOTHER SOCIETY ACTRESS. Wiggins —"1 hear, Algy that your old friend, Mis CONCISENESS AT THE BANK. Derositor—"* Is the cashier in?” ‘ Tuy. Jaxitor—* He is, ma'am, fer ten year. Perhaps th’ assishtant Smith, you ought to be ashamed of yourself, coming home at this time Gushly, is going on the stage in the part of /uléet.” of night!" Smnith—" Why, m’ dear, haven't I was goin’ to put up my (7) money at a hotel ?” THE DRAMA AS IT IS. __ LEADING LADY—"‘A-ha-ha! Bengrandio Packenham, you Your old umbrella stout; little knew when you came to fling your taunts at the Countess He likes to see what kind it is, Dentwater that she was nota defenceless women. Baboony—" Aw —she ought to act the balcony scene to perfe “any notions of ‘conomy? ‘Spect tion, me boy. It was always deuced hard to get away from her in the evening. HER CONQUEST. “Twas not her dimples, Nor toothsome “fections She boiled a-pot Todrive'way blue dejections “Twas not the erimples Of her creamy laces, Nor the sweet simples. Hid in her perfumed vases, “Twas naught of these ‘That stilled my bach'lor aches; It was the chic seal-brown Of wellturned buckwheat cakes. THE THIRD PARTY. “Crushed again!" ex- claimed De Smythe, very despondently. “" Miss Pul- grave doesn’t care a snap for me after all.” * Cheer up, old boy.” returned Merritt; “that’s all imagination. Why, hasn't she consented to accompany you to the theatre?” “Yes,” he replied, rather dubiously; “ but when sheaccepted she said she would have her dear mother come with us.” OLD BOREAS. ‘The winter wind greets with a whiz , And with the assistance of the prompter Nero "*histed.” Hist! Nero! And turns it inside out,