Judge — February 9, 1889 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE THE MINISTER'S SUGGESTION. ‘The old maid sat in her rocking-chair, With thimble, and scissors, and thread, And talked, as she sewed, of her neighbors’ faults Till the minister wished he was dead. But he sat quite still, in his patient way, And heard all her acid talk, While she pounced on this one, and then on that, Like a vicious old hook-beaked hawk. She sewed, as she talked, in a vigorous way, And pulled the thread through with a jerk Then she tried the scissors, but they were so dull ‘That she never could make them work. “These scissors are dreadfully dull,” As her sewing she angrily Rung On a chair \d the minister murmured lov hen why don’t you use your tongui le Journal. said she, “A. Royal Tramp” is a new comic opera in three acts, by Charles Purner and William Gill, which has re- cently made quite a hit in Baltimore, ‘The music is bright and the libretto much above the average. It is reported of a knight of St. Crispin in Lynn that he became so completely filled with the ardent that in + order to save his life they had to tap his boots.—Beston Post. When Baby was sick, we gave her Castoria, When she was a Child, she cried for Castoria, When she became Miss, sho clung to Castoria. When she bad Children, she gave them Castoria Clara—* Mr. Fledgeby has been paying me some absurd compliments, Belinda. Belinds—" Oh, they must have been."—Portland Transcript. A little girl was once asked drawing. “Oh,” she replied, and then marking around the think an artist to define awing is thinking Tailors never keep their promises about finishing gar- ments at a certain date. ‘They probably know that some of their customers would drop dead if they did. —Nerw Orleans Picayune, * Brick" Pomeroy as well as for his own paper, ‘ew York Central Railroad is selling Carnival Tickets to Montreal and return from New ity for $15. ‘Tickets good going from Friday, February. tst, to Friday, February 8th, inclusive, and good for return passage on regular trains leaving Mon- treal from Tuesday, February sth, to Saturday, Febru- ary 16th, 1889, inclusive. as hollow and as artificial as a crystal optic in a mummy.— Boston Globe. ANYBODY can use the Konak. The operation of mak- ing a picture consists simply of pressing a button. One Hun- dred instantaneous pictures are made without re-loading. No dark room or chemicals neces- sary, A division of labor is offered, whereby all the work of finishing the pictures is done at the factory, where the camera can be sent to be re-loaded. ‘The operator need not learn anything about photography. He can "press the button” —twe do the rest. Send for copy of Konax Primer, with sample photo- graph THE EASTMAN DRY PLATE AND PILM CO., Rochester, N. Y. WASHINGTON SEC. Great Vintage 1884. J. ROUSSILLON & (C0., BPBRNAY, FRANCE. Known as the Purest and Driest Champagne in the United ‘States by all tovers of good wine. E, PFEIFFER, General Manager, 169 Greenwich St., PRICE 825,00. How, in the name of science and common-sense, can the mere fact that four inches of blue ribbon are tied to the handle of a pair of scissors keep them from being mislaid? In point of fact it does nothing of the kind, and in spite of women’s faith in the blue ribbon charm, it is absolutely useless. If, however, we assume that the origin of this custom was the attaching of a bit of witch-hazel to the handle of a pair of scissors, we can understand it. ‘The woman of the middle ages had a vague belief that the disappearance of scissors was due to the witches, and therefore called in the aid of witch hazel. The modern woman, ignorant of the peculiar efficacy of witch-hazel, fancies that anything tied to a pair of scissors will keep them from being lost; and she prefers ribbon to witch-hazel because it is prettier and more convenient. —IV, L. Alden in Collter's Once a Week. Angostura Bitters, the celebrated appetizer, of exquis- ite flavor, is used all over the world. Dr. J. G. B, Siegert &'Sons, sole manufacturers. At your druggist’s, patent medicine almanac ! was a towering giant With a wealth of health and a vim of limb, To ills and pills defiant ! But now [ have the phthisic, And take every kind of physic, Have a touch of sharp bronchitis, And a raging tonsilitis, And I feel thy awful twinges, cerebro-spinal meningitis. patent medicine almanac! read thy fearful pages With tears and fears and groans and moans, And shakes and aches of ages! And now I have the vertigo And tumbling in the dirt I go; Have a general blood corruption, Loss of vigor, lack of gumption, And I feel that I'am traveling down the last stage of consumption, Yankee Blade. Scrub oak ought to be utilized in the manufacture of brushes and brooms.—Pittsbury Chronicle. As arulea single man is rarely discovered leading a double life, So much for bachelorhood.— Philadelphia Pres. ‘The few men among the crowd of women at the after- noon teas look as if they wanted to go home.— Philadel phia Quaker, Now that Christmas is over there can be no harm in getting out of bed cross if the baby has been squalling all night. —Exening ‘Tife man who “shot at random," not hitting it, has since lent his rifle to the youth who aimed at immor- wv York Ledger. Now that a man has been found with two hearts the montrosity will be a frequent plea on the part of biga- mists.—Baltimore American, American boy—"* Papa, the paper says that Japanese war-vessels are illuminated by electric lights. the United States have things that way?” Papa—'* We have made a beginning in that direction, my son, We've got the lights."—Piiladelphia Record. 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The exactions of social life, the strain consequent upon late hours, late suppers, and the indulgence of rich and highly seasoned food, all combine to leave the system i a debilitated condition and the stom- ach in a state bordering on frenzy, if we may use the ex- pression. Beecham’s Pills, however, taken regu- larly, have a soothing effect on the stomach and the di- gestive organs. Their result is immediate. A few doses will restore lost complexion, bring back the keen edge of appetite, and give health, strength and energy to the whole human frame. In response to the request of many well-known Ameri one, Beecham’s Pills are now gents, Messrs. B. to be shared by ever States through their ns, who wish their merits ig introduced into the United Len & Co,, 365 and 367 Canal St., N. Y. Druggists generally keep Beecham’s Pills, but where they do not, send 25 cents direct to B. F. Allen & Co., and receive a sample box by return mail, PREPARED ONLY BY THOMAS BEECHAM, ST. 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