Judge — 1888 — page 45: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Ss. PLC. AL Driver of street car— “Why are you carrying that heavy basket? Just set it down on the platform.” Mr. O' Houlihan—“Sure de car is full. Haven't de poor nags enough to pull alriddy?” ‘Tom Sande: Have ever With tempers s« Both always “ou The wonder is to me ‘That they should not agree. TOO LATE. He is detained by a thunder-storm, “Oh, Harry, did you hear that terrific of thunder just now? “No, dear, I was lis- tening to you,” and he saw too late that he had made a mistake. IT LEADS TO WANT. Charley—* Gus, what necessities of life de- prive many a family of food?” Gus—*Give it up. As the interlocutor at the minstrel show says, what necessities of life deprive many a family of food?” Charley —“* Meet and drink.” ART VERSUS ALCOHOL. Customer—* How much, sir?” BarTenper—* Fifty cents, please.” Cusromer—Isn't that a little steep?” BARTENDE worth of paintings.” uR—"T can’t be mistaken. aiter the second dive Killingly-Coolbroth. Wilkin: NATURAL A MONTREAL ENCOUNTER. It was when I s-Laket THE USES OF LITERATURE. “You are looking so much bet- ter, Mrs. De Ponsonby ; is your health improved?” “O yes; my new doctor has stopped my taking chloral to make me sleep, and instead has Mr. Howells’s novels read to me every night, and I get off in half the time I did before.” UNTRUE TO NATURE. Art-dealer—"*1 can’t see why you should object to that picture of Spring, Mr. Comstock. ‘The figure certainly is draped.” Comstock —** Yes; but it’s a glaring untruth. Where are her umbrella and overshoes—to say nothing of a chest-protector ?”” The undertaker’s no fighter, Yet deny the fact, if you can, ‘That he’s tha of a boxer ‘That always lays out his man, WEATHER PREDICTIONS. When your coal’ gives out be- ware of a spell of frigid weather. When you cannot see the sun, make up your mind that it will be cloudy. When there is ice in your pitcher in the morning you may be sure that it has been cold. When you see lightning on coming home at night it is best to swear off for a while. When a man carries an um- “Why, my dear sir, you've seen $100,000 brella to business with him, it is a sign that it will not rain, Isn't this Mrs. Coolbroth of Ch introduced to you, sit; but the proceedings, and there have been two since. Tam now Mrs, Jenkins- albroth came in 43 CONDITIONAL. Jacob Levi, jr.—* Baba, I vants den cents.” Jacob Levi, sr.—*Vat for, mine son?” Jacob Levi, jr.—“1 vants to puy a tog.” Jacob Levi, sr.—* Mine son, I gifs youden cents ofe you vill puy a pase- ball) Rememper, mine son, a tog eats.” A VERY GOOD REA- SON. “Say, Bob, do yer know why de folks calls me Jim?" “Naw. Why?” dat's me IN THESE LATITU- DES. You must wake and call me early, call me early, mother dear; And be sure you leave my waterproof and rubbers lying near. And don't forget some cough-drops before 1 yo away, For I'm to be queen o’ the May, mother, I’m to be queen o’ the May. Ef Sambo doan’ laik me, I rudder he'd say so dan grin an’ bow w’en we meet. (The next day.) Customern—" Gimme a ten-cent drink straight, without art, please.” comicbooks.com