Judge, 1888 · page 44 of 72
Judge — 1888 — page 44: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several brief satirical pieces typical of late 19th-century American humor: **"Orient or Occident"** contrasts romantic Western fantasies about Eastern harems with modern American practicality. The satire mocks men who idealize "Oriental maidens" while actually pursuing working "business girls" with salaries and modern ambitions—poking fun at both orientalist fantasy and crass American materialism. **"Quite Another Matter"** jokes about social awkwardness: two men discussing a third person's death, only to discover he merely left town months ago—a simple misunderstanding played for embarrassment. **"The Child is Father of the Editor"** appears to reference editorial mishaps, with an editor apologizing for pricking someone's thumb while pinning pages, then casually mentioning childhood injuries—dark humor about carelessness. **"Getting Even"** and **"Mutually Sold"** are brief anecdotes about revenge and marital deception at social events. The humor relies on wordplay, misunderstandings, and social commentary rather than complex political satire. These were typical light entertainment pieces for Judge's audience.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
NATURAL GAS ORIENT OR 2 Rise beneath the crescent beams, Where the lotos and the rose In the starlit éve un- close, dof Islam, thou dost dream, QUITE ANOTHER MATTER. Two friends meet after a long interval. “By the way, you know that poor C, is dead?” “Good heavens! You don’t say so. How shocking!” “Why, you are behind the lighthouse; he left us over six months ago.” “Six months! Oh} that alters NO LONGER IN SIGHT. There was a vain ma And to humbug the Grants he did geau; But they heard of his game And they laughed at his And now he’s forgotten, you k “THE CHILD IS FATHER OF THE EDITOR.” H. U. Merest——“\'m very sorry indeed, sir, that you have hurt your thumb, I'll never pin my paragraphs together that way agal K. R. Iitic—“Dou't fret about it—there’s no harm done. When a mere boy I often had my fingers pricked by a chestnut-burr.” A SLIGHT MISUNDERSTANDING. “Hi, waiter! Is this dish of roast chicken for two persons or one?” “Nein!” Nine! Good Lord, it’s too much for one, but I'd like to see nine people make a meal of it!” FROM JUDGE. OCCIDENT. Orient maid, we dieam of thee In thy harem by the sea, And we hear thy mandolin Ring the marble halls within To thy song, sung plaintively. The poets dream sweet Nourmahal, Thy eyes like roseicaves on us fall; But, fair maiden, you must know, For our age you are too slow. My dear, you are not practical. In these dull times we can not keep A herd of wives to sing and sleep “Twould be nice, of course, my dear, But spring Lonnets cost up here, And the bills would make us weep. A young saleslady that I know Just up the street a block or two, With a tip-top salary, Thinks she’s somewhat mashed on me, And we have a flat in view. Orient maid from far Kathay, The business girl has come to stay; dolin, But she gathers shekels in She can’t twang the m: In a practical western way, With the rest I'll dream of you, Where the Bosphorus darkly blue Rolls beneath thy harem wall; But one girl will get the call Of the kind I have in view. GETTING EVEN. Midgely, who spent several hundred dollars for theatre tickets last without seein scheme for revenge this year. MUTUALLY SOLD. Mrs, BLEECKER (at the unmasking)— “Why, Tom! I'd no idea it was you. stage once, on account of the high hat nui He lets his hair grow, and combs it up. And I did enjoy that last waltz so!” Mr, Bieecker—''I'm sure I didn’t know it was you, Letitia. You'll pardon me for making it so pleasant for you, won't you?” comicbooks.com