Judge — 1888 — page 35: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

CHESTNUTS FROM JUDGE. THE JUDGE'S LETTER-BOX. Atmzz—We don’t know much about chapped lips, never hav- ing had any worth mentioning ; but if you'll send yours around we shall be pleased to look them over. Dante. Lamont—You say you object to appearing in the Jupcz as a small dog with a collar on. Well, dear boy, why don't you take the collar off and grow ? Jazune—In playing poker always deal from the hottom, and preserve an expression of countenance, when you have a bad hand, indicating the most placid of all satisfaction. Davin B. Jupp—The proverb, “Judd not lest ye be Judded” is entirely erroneous, not to mention the bad spelling. Go on, Da- vid; go on. Plant the contents of your sling in the foreheads of the Goliars and all will be well. Amateur—You must make your selections according to the uality of your audiences. In Washington, for instance, “The Burial of Sir John Moore” might be ventured, but *‘ Ostler Joe” should be read only in St. Louis. W. S. Girsert—You are partially right in supposing that this continent was created for post benefit ; but, after all, ithas made your fame and wealth, and you ought to remember that there are two or three persons besides you who deserve some favors. Oca Branpox—We do not approve, as a general thing, of saw- dust, for it is very rarely symmetrical, and is liable to bag at the shank; but perhaps the use of it would be excusable in your case. Why not content yourself, however, with the midnight eyes, leaving the lower combinations to take care of themselves? The world is generous, child, and expects entire perfection in no one person. It takes a number of individuals to carry that great responsibility, and frequently, numerous as they may be, it breaks them all up. Harriet Begcuer Srowe—“ Uncle Tom’s Cabin” was written, if the memory which we have borrowed for this occasion is cor- rect, some thirty-five years ago. George Harris was drawn mostly from imagination ; but Uncle Tom was an enlarged and improved version of an old colored man, quite remarkable in song, from the fact that he had no hair on the top of his head, where it has been repeatedly declared that hair ought to grow—though we have our doubts about that every time we join the assembled theatrical and congregational multitude. The book was dramatized, and we believe the play is occasionally presented to this day. CHEEKY CHECKMATE. LOA ME I 3 ‘li oe as PERSeycrh, yun Brown—“ Where are going?” Su1tH—‘‘Going to get my check cashed.” Brown—‘’ Check suit. ain’t it?” FRIENDSHIP. Lapy—‘‘ Would you believe it, the doctor's wife is idle and slovenly with her house, and leaves her children to take care of themselves, and her husband spends most of his time at the club.” GentLEman—* Ah! and how do you know all this?” Lapy—“ Well, you see I am her best friend.” —Fliegende Blaetter. | _ Witttan M. Evarts—Take your time, dear sir; take your time. | Take ours, also, if that is necessary to the proper undevelopment | of the silver question. ‘Take anything. Take the rule of three and show that it is really the rule of six or two anda half, What is the use of being in a hurry about a little thing like this ? FRIENDLY ADVICE. Cuum—“ Say, Israel, for heaven's sake, go take a bath. You'll | never get a square meal if you depend upon your personal ap- pearance; go take a bath.” Israzt—‘‘Youm don’t know what youm a talking about. I took a bath long ago.” MILLER’S HOTEL, °° * 4x West 26th Street, New York. —st Turkish, Electric and Roman Baths, and Massage. Sena for $a.g0 per Day. Circulars, comicbooks.com