Judge — 1888 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

CHESTNUTS FROM JUDGE. THE STYLE. Present. AGAINST ANARCHY. “Phwat is the worruld comin’ to, Mrs. O'Flanigan?” inquired Mrs. Hooligan as the | two ladies were seated in the kitchen of the | castle on the rocks at Fifth avenue and | Ninety-some street, overlooking the peace- ful pig and admiring the antics of the billy- goat. “To an ind, Oi'm thinkin’,” the practical Mrs. O Flanigan. “‘Notin our time, Nora darlint. But they’s quare things that do be happenin’ these days. Phwat div yez think should hav’ come here yisterday afthernoon buta dirthy Dutchman, wan av thim bottlenosed Bo- haymians?” s that the Bohay that the tay comes from?” “That the beer comes from, more like, judgin’ by the shmell av the craytur. An’ phwat div yez think the blaggard wanted here? He wanted tosee Misther Hooligan, he said, to be taught the bist way av usin’ dinnamoit, he did. - answered. JOY AND SORROW COMBINED. Future. moit in liss than no time. “«* Will he do that?’ says the Bohaymian. “««Sure an’ he will,’ says Oi. ‘He'll ram about half a pound | av it down yer gullet, an’ thin he'll walk over yez till yez_ wouldn't know if it thundered. | That's phwat my Dan ‘Il do, an prouday the chance he'll be." | _ “Then the blaggard | | flared up an’ said that he hadn't come here | to be jokin’, an’ that he was afraid Oi was on |avenoo shell out an’ divide their property | the side av’ the inimy. He tould me that| wid him an’ sich as him.” ° his section av the Internationals—phativer| “The saints be betune us an’ harrum!” that may be—was dhrillin’ wid arrums, an’) ‘* He moight as well have flung a ded cat soon they'd kill all the polace—God save us! |in me face; for it’s mesilf that lives on Fift’ —an’ make all the aristuckerrats on Fift’| avenoo an Oi flatther mesilf that Oi'm as gud «i sd) Acquatxtaxce —“Why. Brown, why on earth are you wearing jeuch a knot of crape—and Ill be hanged! all those flags, too ahie Heart-Broken Brown—‘‘ Painting the town, old boy ; mother- in-law’s dead.” “An! phwat have yez to do wid dinna- moit?’ says Oi to him. ‘It's niver the loikes av yez that’s been throdden undher fut by the bloodhy Saxins, an’ yez had betther lave the dinnamoit to thim as nades it.” “He tould me that he wanted to bu'st up the gov'ment, he did, an’ “twas our own gov'ment he meant, which I made him own up to the same. Think av it, Mrs. O'Flanigan, ‘an’ my Dan like to be made an aldherman if he can git a license to open a salune on the corner!” “The thafe av the worruld !” ejaculated Mrs, O'Flanigan. *¢ Jist phwat Oitould him he was, Nora darlint. ‘You poor black-faced furriner!’ says Oi, ‘Oi'll tell yez phwat to do. Jist wait here till Misther Hooli- gan gits home. an’ he'll tache yez all yez wants to know about dinna- Mistaess to New Servant: __ Baincer (glowing with pri The tacher alwus called me a foine lump ov a scholar.” cs as annybody, Nora darlint.” “It’s yersilf that's betther than most, Biddy dear.” “You black-faced, beer-swillin’ baboon,’ says Oi to him, ‘div yez think that Bridget ooligan, as come av the O'Connors, would ivver be afther dividin’ as much as a dime av her property wid the likes av yez? Oj'll tache yez the kind av dividin’ they'll be, an’ don't yez forgit’ it’ Wid that, Nora dar- lint, Oi wiped up the flure wid him till it shmelt like a brewery, an’ then Or sint him whirlin’ down the path, an’ billy the goat struck him undher the coat tails, buttin’ him ashe ran down the sthrect yellin’ murther.” | “It's right yez did | | Biddy dear. We must look out for our own whin that sort’s about. The likes av him ’ud be shtealin’ the pig if they dared.” Epwarp WILtEt. “ Bridvet, where is the dessert?” —"Ther dessert, mum? It's in Afriky or Agypt. 39 & 41 West 26th Street, New York. $2.50 per Day. comicbooks.com