Judge, 1888 · page 7 of 69
Judge — 1888 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains four satirical sketches from Judge magazine (circa late 1800s): **"All He Could See"**: A man compliments only a rose on a woman's elaborate new gown, unable to see past one detail—satirizing obliviousness or poor social skills. **"Strauss on Politics"**: A barkeeper with a German accent discusses his friend's recent election to the Assembly. Strauss mocks the newly elected official for adopting grandiose poses (imitating Bismarck, Henry Clay, General Lee) while remaining a simple man. The satire targets politicians' pretension and vanity upon taking office. **"Near-Sighted Mamma"**: A mother, unable to see clearly, mistakes a college student named "B-b-brown" (apparently awkward or stammering) for the captain of the baseball team based on his position near the mantelpiece. **"Spoiling a Bargain"**: A horse trader ruins a sale by demonstrating the animal's supposed intelligence—ironically proving the opposite, deterring the buyer. All sketches mock human folly: vanity, political pretension, poor vision (literal and figurative), and self-sabotage.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
GOOD THINGS ALL HE COULD SEE Miss SitaretetcH—Oh, Mr. Candor, I'm so glad to see you! What do you think of my new gown?” Mr. Canbor (much embarrassed) —* The—ah—the rose is beautiful.” STRAUSS ON POLITICS. Strauss had laid a 7 rag with which he had wiped his bar, and was leaning back contemplating the pho- tograph of his. fiend who had recently been elected to represent his district in the Assembly. He, inan absent- minded manner, pushed back the lunch-plate of bologna and glossy, tired- looking crackers as he heard my step. “Ah, vos dot you? Come mit me unt see dot bortrait. Dot man he got grazy for an FROM JUDGE. - NEAR-SIGHTED MAMMA (soho has given Charlie a little surprise.party at college) — And who is the gentleman over the mantel?” CHARLIE (swith a ray of hepe)—“ That's B-b-brown, captain of our nine.” office. His friends could not safe him efery way dey vill try. You see in dose bicture he is try to look like Bismarck on der cigar boxes. He got alretty his hand in his vest like you seen Henry Clay ven he signed der declaration of emancipation, aind it? He got his lofty brow leaning on his hand like Cheneral Lec at der baddle of der Wilderness. I see aber I look at dot bicture dot mine friend is dumple to der bolitical racket.” “He is proud, probably, that he is elected,” I suggested. “Yah, you baed he is proud. Der poys vus trunk so long dot he sets ‘em oop, und shlap him on der back till dey knock his outsides all inwards, Unt dot vas glory, aind it? I radder been a triver on a bobtail horses cars. i “You are not an admirer of politics, I see, Strauss,” I remarked. “Uf you vant to buy somedings so dot you aint catch cold in your mout talkin’ so much, den I gif you my views unt I aint swear it off ven you brint it in der noosepaper. By chiminy, | aint hear dot money drawer ring so long ago it got proke meppe.” SPOILING A BARGAIN. “Yes, sah—soun’, kind an’ true, an’ wond’ful 'telligent.” “Whoa, dar: praisin’ him ai Prospective head some day. 1 you rascal. Now see de 'telligence ob de brute. " he ‘nudged me not to lay it on too heaby.” k—" Guess I won't buy dat hos. Mout nudge me in de Good mawnin’, rudder Jones.” 1 war comicbooks.com