Judge, 1888 · page 45 of 69
Judge — 1888 — page 45: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical cartoons and humorous verses typical of Judge magazine's social commentary. **"Comes High"** depicts two well-dressed men discussing a friend's visit, with a pun on "high" costs versus actual height. **"The Ballad of Hannah Wadmulligan"** is a comedic narrative poem about a father forbidding his daughter's relationship with Jasper Jacobs. The tragic-comedic twist: when Hannah elopes by throwing her baggage down first, a heavy trunk kills Jasper, leading to her suicide—satirizing melodramatic romantic stories. **"A Thoughtful but Indiscreet Wife"** shows a woman promising to help her imprisoned husband's legal case by ensuring he benefits financially from execution—dark humor about wives' unfiltered support. **"A Politician's Three Stages"** presents three degraded figures, playing on the phrase "public office is a public bust"—mocking politicians' moral decline. The page also includes commentary on society girls embroidering stockings publicly and mentions editor Henry Watterson, alongside small anecdotes mocking figures like Judge Gray and references to Irish immigration ("McShtew Collection").
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
GOOD THINGS FROM JUDGE. CHEERING. COMES HIGH. PRISONER Coun-EL. nes must be a very dear friend of yours.” as, he does come pretty high ; just lent him a twenty.” heavy damages.” THE BALLAD OF HANNAH WADMULLIGAN. Oh, papa was cruel as papa could be: With his fair daughter Hannah he could not agree Onthe subject of love. With more vigor than grace He denied Jasper Jacobs access to the place. Tween father Wadmulligan. haughty and wise, And sly little Cupid, though sightless his eyes, A war waged most as time onward sped. Let us find out, dear reader, which came out Stray rumors that Jasper had quitted the strand Seni the much-relieved father adrift in dreamland One dark winter night. ‘Then Jasper appeared And the window of Hannah Wadmulligan neared. He called on his loved one, the pearl of his heart. Whispering, «Fly to my arms, love, and let us-di parte But before she swung off (for we know that she durst), She said, “Let me throw you my baggage, d first.” ‘The strong arms of Jasper were raised ‘tward the sky. To catch the soft bundle he'd eagerly try ; But alack! and alas! with a deadening kerchunk There lit on poor Jasper a well-laden. trunk, A wrecked Saratoga. two hands and two feet Were seen the next morn pinioned fast in the sleet: And prone in her bedroom our sad song to curtail) Lay Hannah Wad.nulligan, dead as a door nail, IONE L., JONES, The popular fad now with our soci- ety girl is to em- broider her own stockings, but the popular fad doesn’t stop there; it goes right out into the street, defies civili- zation and the po- lice, and displays the fruits of in- dustry to the critical eye of a sympathet- i¢ public. “Keep your mouth shut }’ exclaims a St. Louis editor to Henry Watterson. That 1s the most cruel of all sugges- tions. If the st. Louis man were to do that he would die of thirst in about ten minutes. (The prisoner seems to understand the damages that would ensue, but thinks recovery doubtful.) BrotHer OF THE DECEASED: p" an’ I've sint carruds all t’roo th’ fourt’ ward fer th’ sale.” 43 A THOUGHTFUL BUT INDIS- CREET WIFE. “ But do you think they will hang me?” “Let them do it, if they dare. best thing that could happen for our side—we could recover It would be the Tramr—*Well, now, I'm playing in great luck. I'll just step inside and take a bite.” Judge Gray of Ar- sas was putting on his clothes to be mar- tied when he sudden- ly put his hand to his side, called for water and immediately died. He might have known better. What on earth did he want to call for water for? A POLITICIAN’S THREE STAGES. The talk of a statue to Mr. Cleveland re- minds us of that soul- stirring sentiment, “Public office is a public bust.” Fullness under the eyes denotes language. When the fullness is large and discolored and hurts, this denotes that the man has been using too much of it. THE McSHTEW COLLECTION “It's me that's bin app'inted exicitoor av th’ eshtate, comicbooks.com