Judge — 1888 — page 38: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

36 GOOD THINGS FROM JUDGE. POPULAR SUPER- STITIONS. If ababy seeshis face in the glass it will be the death of him; if an old maid, it will be the death of the glass. If you work you may have money, but we wouldn't advise persons to doit. Itisoftenvery tiresome, and eventually leads to the grave. If you drop your dish- cloth you will have com- pany. Statistics are not in, however, as to the awful result of dropping some other person's dish-cloth. While at the wash- board, if the suds splash and wet the clothes you are wearing, you will have a drunken hus- band. This is the great reason why young wo- men alwaysfeel languid on Mondays. IMPERILING VAL- UABLES. Wife—" Henry, didn’t [hear you bet your boots on the election with Squeers?” Husband — “Y-y-yes, my dear, I believe you did.” Wife—“ Well, I'd like to know what I'm going to do fora seat to Willie's pants.” bu’st inter no dressin’ rooms. AT LIBERTY TO REPUDIATE IT. Reporter— Mr. Lowell, | want to interview you for the Howler." Mr, Lowell—'‘ All right, but I reserve the right to repudiate all that you print about me.” Reporter—.** Now. then, you're a poet?” Mr, Lowell—“ Yes.” When it was announced that the frisky Simon Cameron was going to come home, there was a feeling of intense relief among the married men of the effete east. BETWEEN THE ACTS. Beg yer parding, ladies. I kinder lost my way ‘round this ‘ere theatre, but I didn’t mean ter HE HAD LEARNED A LESSON. Backwoodsman(in Ohio town)—"I hear you've struck a well of natural gas here lately.” Hotel-keeper—*Y es,sir; got one in our back yard.” Backwoodsman—"1 wish you'd tell the clerk to turn it off when he shuts up for the night. For heaven's sake warn him against blowing it out! [had anexperience once myself, mister.” ADVERTISING PAYS. His ma—*Well, John- ny, what did you See at the circus?” Johnny —*The hairy péople and Mr. Barnum with a bald head.” NEW METHOD OF CALCULATING TIME. Mistress —* Bridget, how long have you been with us?” Bridget — “Twelve wakes, ma’am.” Mistress—*Why, n0; it isn’t more than two months.” Bridget —*“Shure, ma‘am, and we've had twelve wakes in the last two months—three on ‘em was babbies.” KEEPING UP THE INTEREST. “What do you think of the last installment of my new novel?” inquired Miss Gush. “I must confess,” replied Merritt, “that 1 think youhave made an awful blunder. You left the hero sitting on a keg of powder to which the villain had just touched a match. I don't see how ever you can finish thestory when the hero is killed in the first chapter.” “That was onlya part of the plot, Mr. Merritt. In nextweek’s paper I go on to explain how the keg of powder turned out to be a barrel of mustard seed.” NOT CUPID'S DART. NEAR.SIOHTED ARCHER—" Hello! who could have put mry target way out there ; I wonder if I can hit the bull’s eye from here?” comicbooks.com