Judge — 1888 — page 29: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

GOOD THINGS FROM JUDGE. ONE YEAR AGO. Isee a pair of down. casteyes Blue as the azure of the skies; A mass of dark brown waving hair, A skin so matchless, white and fair, With a most sweet and lovely face, A sylpb-like form en- dowed with grace, Such was the maid, Pil ne'er forget, A year ago to-day { met. But far away from here she’s gone, And first when I was left alone I vowed that none were half so sweet, More perfect beauty none could meet; But then, ah me, before I knew A love for some one else there And took my heart—I can’t tell But some one better love I now. FLAVEL 8, MINES. Tew ow— AT PEEKSKILL. Recruit—‘If the request is not out of order, sir, | wish you would assign me to duty with the Gatling gun squad.” Cuplain — "The squad is already full. Have you any special reason for ‘the request.” Recruit—" Only that 1 think I am quali- fied to make a good cannoneer, sir. 1 run the coffee-grinder for Shark & Bilford when I’m in the city.” A LIGHTNING “SPEEDER"” SPED Boy—Yes, sir; the old mare is pretty nigh done for—but she beat anything on the road at one time. Neicuuor—* Eh! when was that?? Boy— When she was brought here by the fast freight train.” A PROPER QUESTION. He— Have you been toboganning this Winter.” She—Oh, yes, last Thursday night. 1 got arib dislocated and Uncle James had his teeth knocked out. I haven't had so much fun since Willie died.” He—*Er—excuse me, but did } Will lose his life on the slide.” THE LATEST TELEPHONE SCANDAL. The town of Punxatawny, in Massachu- setts, was recently half destroyed by fire. The disaster is not altogether bad, because we know now that there is a town of Punxatawny, and but for the fire some of us might have died before they got the in- formation. 27 A CONNOISSEUR FROM WAYBACK. RuRAL Visitor (af loan collection of paintings) —Let me see! ‘Owned by Boodle the mil- lionaire; value ten thousand dollars.” Well, I'll be darned! That air pictur’ ain't a patch to the ‘one Maria got with a paound of tea the other day. How them air city folks git cheated. I tell yew it takes a sharp un to cheat me ona pictur’. _ If there is anything more solemnly and mysteriously funny than the young woman with a mission it must be the young woman who can't get one. A Georgia man says he has seen a snake forty feet long, with its back cov- ered with gray moss. We suspect he lives in Atlanta, where they get it in jugs. The Saratogian spells the Rev. Bob Collyer with one 1; but those country newspapers are so insufficiently supplied with type that any little omission of that kind is readily excusable. A QUEUE GUARD. “Melican boy cantee pully my piggee taily enly mlore.” comicbooks.com