Judge — 1888 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

GOOD THINGS FROM JUDGE. 23 THOSE CITY IMPROVEMENTS. Uxctt Josit (going into extravcance on his visit to the city\—" Guess while I'm peelin' off T might jest as well ring'up " leetle rum ’n gum ter kind’r take the chill off.” then she cast an uneasy glance around the car, and her eyes would grow moist with unshed tears. Snapp took a seat near her, and watched her, while he pre- tended to read the newspaper, he was puzzled to know what part she played in the company. She might be a soubrette, but she was certainly not a jolly one, and no one seemed to pay her any particular attention. Once the manager stopped and spoke to her for a few moments, so that Snapp was quite sure she belonged to the troupe. ‘ Finally, as it grew dark, Snapp grew sentimental, and just as two big tears were rolling down the little lady’s cheeks, Snapp, assuming an expression of deep sympathy and comiseration, leaned toward her and kindly asked if he could be of service to her. “Oh, thank you,” she said, looking up into his face, “ you are very kind, but I fear youcan do nothing for me.” “The tears that suffuse those lovely orbs reveal some secret sorrow,” replied Snapp. “I, ¢ suffered—will you not confide in me “Well then, Mr.m— oh dear, I don’t even know your name, but if you could only take me to Jack, just for one brief moment, you would éarn ‘my undying gratitude.” “Well,” replied Snapp, “if Jack is what you want, Jack is what you must have, but remem- ber, my dear young lady, that I have not the pleasure of Jack’s acquaintance, and I can’t very well take you to him till I know his exact whereabouts. My name is Snapp, and now you may command me at your pleasure.” ‘This was fast work foreven so rapid a drum- mer as our friend, but matters came to a stand- still for a moment,.when she answered : “Why, Jack is my only treasure, and he’s in the haggage car. and I must go to him.” “Weil.” thought Snapp, “Jack is evidently a dog or the corpse of a deceased husband; those two commodities are usually consigned to the baggage car, and the women all weep because they can’t remain with them. This youn female is in mourning. so, likely as not, it’s a ‘dear departed’” then he added aloud : “T'll take you to the baggage car with pleas- ure, but you know you can’t remain there.” “Oh, I know that, but I shall be satisfied if Lcan press one kiss on my darling’s brow. “If darling is nailed up in a pine box, how is she going toget athis brow?’ thought Snapp, “and if darling is a dog and she kisses it, I'm done with her forever, for [ hate dogs. His suspense was soon over, for they quickly reached the baggage car, and here is wherethe author comes toa dead stop and an explana- tion. This is a realistic American novel, ithas only to do with the finer instincts of man. All’s well that ends well; Howell's the question. Asking how a story comes out is obsolete. If it ever comes out we will let you know. A SYMPATHETIC GIRL. Mr. Romantic“Miss Breezy, at this quiet and heavenly hovr of the evening, when the golden sun is dromping down beyond the vast limit of the ocean, and the cool zephyrs fan the playful wavelets into restless motion, do not your thoughts wander off from the troubles and confusion of this strange world into imag- inary lands where everything is as sweet and peaccful as this calm summer evening?” ; “Yes, Mr. Romantic, they do ; and yct I was just wondering how mother and the children are weathering it in Hoboken with the thermometer 95 in the shade.” Talking about earthquakes, a well-known actor told us a story the other day anent the recent Charleston ‘‘shake-up,” which will bear repeating if he hasn't already spread it around to such an extent as tolend to its further circu- lation an odor of antiquity, He was in Charles- ton, he said, at the time of the first very severe shock and overheard a terrified negro’s supplications to heaven for relief. ‘The old darkey came running ont of his cabin frightened beyond description, his eyes bulged out with terror, his clothing rent and disheveled, and as his former abode crum- bled before his eyes he dropped upon his face on the ground and, in the wildest agony, cried aloud “O, Lor,cum down, cum down, cum down an’ help us; cum yo'self, do’n’ send yo' son, dis am no chile’s play!” The Norristown Herald asks for a hired girl who will get up without being called. This is not the proper article of evo- lution, What is most wanted is a household that will insist on no getting up at all. comicbooks.com