Judge — 1888 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

GOOD THINGS FROM JUDGE. UNKIND ALL AROUND. Mas. Tempest (after an unusually unpleasant seance with Mrs. Tempest, Jr.)—" V hoped, my son, that when you chose a companion you would at least select an amiable one” Mr. Tesrest, Jk. (in desperation)—* 1 think 1 must have taken after the governor.” HO, DAR! C’RISMUS COMIN’. We can't snoop an’ scratch roun’ de mellen patch; HE WANTED TO BECOME A KELLY. We er got de chine ob a pig In brine; . Ho, dar! C'rismus comin’! First small boy (outside the po! ds Ho duet ro Fo’ mellen an’ weed hab done gone toe sced: ‘irst small boy (outside the polo grounds) Dar's de’ possum’s trac git snack: Ho, dar! C’risinus comin’! — Yer oughter seen that hit, Jim.’ Ho, dar! C’rismus comin’! But ‘possum an’ ‘coon am sho'ly a boon; Second smai! boy—“ Wot wuz it?” : ade crow ane Ho, dar. C’rismus comin’ et x ” ‘ia aeial ae aet n tow old cl An’ yo’ teef ull shine w'en yo’ git toe di First small boy—* Mike Kelly hit de ball An’ wid empty craw an’ awecaw-ciw!® An’ de banjo am a trummin’ so hard dat de cover was ripped clean offen He dun lef dat cawa in’! Osmell de hoe cake! Let yo' tue shake! jt,” Samal te be 0 toe sh ! Rub yo’ stummick! Smack yo! lips! “T tel " take O Sis’ Mariah, stuh dat fiah ‘Twell de 'possum gravy drips! n’t goin’ to eat nothin’ but beans for a Twell de ‘possum gravy drips! J. A WALDRON, year.” UNLOOKED-FOR SPEED. UNLOOKED.FOR SPEED.—2. Jep SLocUM (somewhat near-sighted)—‘**Dash it! It's so darned Je (just waking up)—“* Gee Whittaker Moses ! ef ther old hoss ain't blamed dark thet I've clean lost ther road. The best thing I kin dew is gone and broke his halter. Whoa! Ain't he a-kitin’? I never seen ter hitch up ter this ere post and stay till mornin’.” him git so inall my born days, Whoa!” comicbooks.com