Judge — 1888 — page 12: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

10 A LITTLE LEARN- ING. “What size is this?” asked Mrs. Malaprop, picking up a music book. “That's an octavo, ma’am,” said the dealer. “ Well, then,” she re- turned, “let me have asevenoctavo. I want it to match the piano.” NOT IN SEASON. Ata Vermont hotel. Guest—‘‘Is there a barconnected with the house?” Waiter —“No, sir; this ain’t the season for b’ar.” he knew med ef I don't thry him now.” A PICTURE. Youthful and hasty and foolish, but then— She was alone and so witchingly pretty ; Great hazel eyes and a retrousse nose, Cheeks like the leaves of a deep-blushing rose Lips that I thought might be charmingly witty. Youthful and hasty and foolish, but then— Youngsters fall backward when wisdom advances Such a small mask with some filagree work, Such a wee chin where the dimples wou/d lurk, Such roguish smiles and such kittenish glances ! Youthful and hasty and foolish, but then— Fortune's disciples see many odd fac Will we two meet in the same way ayain > Youthful and hasty and foolish, but then She was.a queen in a quartet of aces. There are said to be no “kickers” in heaven; and perhaps that's the reason Thomas Carlyle has such an intense yearn- ing to come back and abuse somebody. A CRUSHING BLOW. Rectxap—" Haw, I aw—say, old chappie, do you know anything that's—aw—good foh waising a mustache?” 'ALGERNON—“*Snydah's hair westowah is—aw—vewy good. I—aw waised mine with it.” f REGINALD (after a critical glance at Algernon’s upper lip)— “Much ‘bliged foh your infohmation, old chappie.I'll—aw — get some othah kind.” “Begorra! There's that sardine what axed me to foight last noight over at Tim's whin had a pravious ingagement, Dom- Oi'm riddy now. an’ that !** A PAIR OF “BRACES.” Anotherone on Wm.R. Travers. time before his departure for Bermuda Wil- liam was a member of a party of men who were discussing the question whether luck did or did not constitute the only factor nowadays in the accumulation of wealth. One of the party gave several in- stances -in support of his side of the argument, and among them mentioned the case of a certain rail- road superintendent who had risen throughaseries of adventitious circum- stances to a position of opulence and influence. esaid," Here'sthis man, without any great capa- bility, reaching a station in life where he can count millions and snap his fingers at more deserving mortals. Heisapowerin his particular road, has several country houses along the line, andateach place has erected elegant stations at the expense of thecompany, while other places go without, ornext door to it. Now I want to know if that isn’t luck?” William, who had remained silent through the argument, here interrupted with, “No; th-th-that’s _ rel gion!” ““Yez wanted to foight wid me, ded yez? Well, GOOD THINGS FROM JUDGE. TAKING ADVANTAGE OF CIRCUMSTANCES. DISTINGUISHING TRAITS. School teacher—"Y es, scholars, you can tell a man’s occupation many times by look- ing at him. Now how would you distinguish a day laborer?” Scholar —“ By his large hands and mus- cles.” School teacher—“ Right —and a lawyer?” School teacher—* Yes —and an editor?” Scholar —“ By his baggy trousers.” In Chicago they have nged the battle-cry Let ’er go, Mc- Pot up yer fists, and take that-> If young Manning Logan's wedding out- fit is as limited and elaborate as the news- papers would lead one to believe, the marriage ceremony is calculated to attract universal attention. We have it upon the authority of the Pittsburg Posf that it con- sists of “two suits of silk underwear at $40 per suit, several pairs of black silk stockings at $5 per pair, and a night-shirt ordered from New York, costing $200.” This is a little out of the ordinary run of wedding clothes, but we suppose it will be all right if the police don’t interfere. APPRECIATION. Jones had gone down to Coney Island for the first time, and was lying on the sand watching the foam washed up by the waves. ‘And to think,” he mused, ‘that that's the kind of stuff they make pipes of” Ashort gentle TOO LITERAL. Fizzig ordered an appropriate monument for his wife: but he happened inadvertently to make a remark about her having led him ‘a cat and dog life.” The monument was cut and erected during his absence from the city. His delight upon viewing it for the first time is given above. comicbooks.com