Judge — 1888 — page 13: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

GOOD THINGS FROM JUDGE. ON THE HACKENSACK MEADOWS. RN, abi yee Me sty tpi ENGLIsH SrortsMAN—‘Well, blow me hit's the tamest snipe hi ever ‘E had!” saw. Hi wonder hif ‘e hever saw a man before. HOW MR. BLAINE SUFFERED AND GREW STRONG. There was a long pause, interrupted by noises as of frequent “What is the matter, dear?” said Mrs. Blaine to JamesG.as that hiccoughs, suppressed sobs, and large, fat sighs. Then Mr. gentleman leaned over the taffrail and gazed with contemplative Blaine said, with staring eyes and every indication of extreme regret at the shadow astonishment, “Hah! of the jibboom in the water. “I donot know exactly,” was the reply, “but it has the heavi- ness of the Missouri Confpromise. I said years ago—But never mind. Forgive me if I seem rude, but pray do not interrupt me.” The latter part of the remarks was given with much rapidity of utter- ance, as if Mr. Blaine feared he would inter- rupt himself and want- ed to be courteous pre- vious thereto. After several moments of very powerful exercises Mr. Blaine paused and said, “It was worse. I declare I think it must have been Mr. Bayard’s brutal and totally re- prehensible foreign ain't policy. Pray do not Bon think me presuming, ble d’hote dinners. INCONTROVERTIBLE EVIDENCE. “I've got younow! A CASE OF MISTAKEN IDENTITY. but—Amelia, hold-my-hat.’ The utterance was im- pressive and given in the tone of command. “1 am not sensitive,” said Mrs, Blaine after a short pause, during which Mr. Blaine was greatly exercised ; “but I do not like that tone of voice. Still you are excus- able. It was dreadful. 1 imagine it must have been Mr. Cleveland's veto of the dependent pensions _ ill, with the addition of some remarks of Senator Ingalls on the question of negro suffrage.” Thereupon Mr. Blaine re- marked “ Merciful heaven !” in a hasty and agitated way, and ejected nothing further im the shape of words for five minutes. ‘“ My child,” he said presently,“ telegraph back to Augusta, Me., that lam no more. ‘There can't Suspect—*No, sir; this is the first time ou the galoot that’s been beatin’ the I've been out of the muscum in three ‘On restaurant out of those five-dollar months.” by heavens, the Rev. Dr. Burchard !” “You ought to feel better now,” remarked Mrs. Blaine. ‘‘ I knew just as soon as you be- gan to look pale that ou were not well. ‘ou have had too much mental distress.” “Don't disturb me!" suddenly exclaimed Mr. Blaine with great vehe- mence. “This is the end of the world, in- eluding the Green Mountains and a large section of the labor party of Henry George! Ah! I f-there-is-an thing-left have-it em- balmed !"” Ten minutes elapsed. and then Mr. Blaine, wan, sad-eyed and with an expression of deep disgust and indignation turned upon the compa- COOL AND THRIFTY. CusToMER Lergumentativedy 2 Joh, I tell youl gave you be anything left worth sav- Sear pean ar ane sk hok mT ing. Still"—he paused irres- oo acrivn wiodw—" Hi John! you run out ‘n tell Srex Lex (indignantly—"*You tinkee me hokee collar— olutely, and then remarked ide ae ; : i ly t'ree collar—look piaed) 7 them fellers thet’s a-foolin’ with your pop, if they don’t drat eas book say only tree collar—lockes with great haste—“ still-by- bring thet air clothes-line Lack when they're through with ‘ustomer, convinced, departs, jingo-it-appears-there-is! it, I'll hev the law on to'm!" “ comicbooks.com