Judge — November 3, 1888 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE A LESSON —"' That's easy enough. Presto!" IN CIGAR-SWALLOWING. 5.—" P—p--phew !" A FAMILIAR SCENE. law has come visiting for the first time. housekeeping is undergoing ac Mamma-in-law has discovered three live carpet-bugs ina secluded corner, and is adapting a well-worn saying in a manner she thinks artisti- cally befitting the occasion : “ Harriet—I presume you are accustomed to being called * Hattie,’ but I consider diminutives extremely undignified for a married woman— Harriet, | will paraphrase a favorite motto of my studious girlhood by remarking that eternal vigilance is the price of the absence of carpet- bu “ Harriet” does not respond. ‘The first supper-table is graced by some baking-powder biscuits, and if there is one solitary item on which the meek and gentle house- wife prides herself it is her light, delicate, snow-white biscuits. Mamma-in-law tastes one and remarks, with an air of aggravated injury, “ Harriet, I shall be exceed- y obligated to you if you will ave the domestic cut me some home-made bread—if you have such an article in the house; I have never accustomed myself to eating baked as the staff of life.” Harriet compresses her lips and rings for some bread. Mamma-in-law eats it with pa- thetic resignation, making only one comment— Really, eatables seem to be like the furniture in the parlor now-a-days—entirely of the bric-A- brac order. “My dear, next_ morning ; says Herbert, the suppose you ask mother to make the biscuits for sup- per. I think it would please her immensely. Taw “Very well,” answers hi Depu MATERIALLY DIFFERENT. How much do you w inety-fouah paounds. ‘0; I mean net weight-r, without yure cane, deah.” ‘The supper is late that night ; but mammaci of biscuit herself, saying, in a triumphant voi w brings in the plate There, Herbie dear! you can enjoy a good, square meal of biscuits and honey once more, as you used to. biscuit and gasps. It isa bright gold color, Honorah, | saw yez put in two complements av sody; but, bedad ! I wuz towld not till meddle wid yer.” Harriet smiles calmly and orders “bread” again. She is waiting for one more result in the future. She had been canning blackberries that afternoon and was weighing out the sugar when mamma-in-law appeared on the scene Harriet Martin!” she fairly screamed ; “are you so far lost to the sacred traditions of your femi- nine ancestors as to use only three quarters of a pound of sugar to a pound of fruit. Do let me make you some of my delicious preserves. Herbie just dotes on them.” It is winter. Herbert is writing home. “ Dear,” says Mrs. Herbert de- murely, “will you please tell mother you regret to state that every can of her ‘preserved’ berries has ‘ w ed’ so that we can’t use them. EXPERIMENT TEACHES. . said Tom," did you hear this? (Could it be he meant to trick her?) “The concussion of a kiss Always makes the gas-flame flicker.”” ‘Then experiments they tried In the interests of science, And their lips, as she complied, Soon had formed a close alliance. After trials two or three, Happy asa man in liquor, "See it flicker, Sue!” said he Quoth the maiden,“ Let it'ficker. cary Marion?" comicbooks.com