Judge — September 8, 1888 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE MOSE AND THE CIRCUS. OSE HEIMEL saw the circus And gazed upon the tumblers’ The pictured antics of the cl those awe-inspiring things ats and acts in many rings ; ‘ns that make the children laugh, to giraffe. Jin—mere looking cost him iS novel fancy caught : ‘This was too much. He went In haste to see how they could get so many in a tent fifty cents in outstretched hand Mose passed in with the A. was great, the odor strong, the noises strange and loud, Jusand things there were to see—the money's worth at least ; J no other beast. ‘Vat a chob-lot show ter elephants and cried J A. WALDRON SEA-WEED. The drowning man finds no rope to clutch. The dude’s head is as good as a life-preserver. We make the worst dive when people are watching us The bather who takes a sun- bath has plenty of sand. The girl with the worst leg Wears the shortest suit. The tide brings in everything except what we have lost. The big wave overta when we have our street clothes on. Sus ‘The crab never clutches a girl's toe till her shoe has been washed off. ‘The water has little chance to shrink the modern bathing costume. It takes a girl a long time to rest when her lover is sitting beside her on the sand. ‘The shark the bather has most to fear is the crook who ransacks his bathing-house. It takes a put her bath ing how little there is of it. xirl a long time to g-dress on, consider- Miss Elson gard for my fee ngs. Since bathing became unfashionable among the elite one must keep out of the water in order to be in the swim, A PARK EPISODE. Orsicer—"* Here there, Irish! What in blazes are you doin’ Mr. MePuixs—" Oi sint down t° ‘ark fer ter prochure a great sale fer th’ Wistchisther Sons 0° Saint Parthrick lodge, an’ not bein’ able t” buy wan Oj taught Oi'd borry this wan. Kim out o' that, now !" ° A YOUTHFUL CRITIC. Oh, these terrible children! “That's your mamma's portrait,” said the artist to a little miss of fc showing her the picture he had just finished.“ Do you recognize it “Oh, yes,” replied the child, after some consideration; “it’s just lik mamma—all ‘cept the face.” PUT TO GOOD Bagley—" | say, Nib, whatare a Nib (promptly)—" Receipted bills, Bagley—"\—er—that is, | wasn’t aware that you ever had such thing in your possession.”” ‘Nid—" Well, Lhave. Whenever [receive a bill Tat once hand i over to my wife, who uses the back of it to write domestic receipts on, ACCOUNT. i these papers you have on file here > SHATTERED DIGNITY. Scaverey (sho has had a bit of a tiff with his fiancée )— T hope the next time we meet you will have little more r one of those long windows, instead of BAD, Medical student (to teamp) to be suffering from shock.” VERY BAD. “What happened to you? You seem Tramp—" Vessir; | fell against a wire fence that wasn’t insulated. GETTING EVEN WITH HER. Mrs. Quiver (waking in the night) * John, I'm sure there's burglars downstairs Mr. Quiz Mrs. Qui tect me Mr. Quéver—* Bah! stand-off. A DELICATE WAY OF PUTTING IT. “Isn't that Miss La Mummier’s dress frightfully juvenile for ap son of her age 2" “She's only twenty.” Possible 2” “That's all, (sleepily)—" Stuff! Let ‘em burgle —"O John! didn’t you promise at the altar to pro- And didn’t you promise to obey me? Its But this is her second time on earth.” RING IN THE CHANGES, TIME! She (aged 16, to him, aged 20)—" You are sv young, Charlie, When you are older you will understand how it is that a woman demands son thing more than youth in the man with power to move her soul.” He (aged 30, to her, aged 26)—" I am extremely sorry this has ha)- pened, Miss—ah—Smith. You must know that a man at thirty demar something more than—that is, is moved more by the freshness of yo than by the acquirements of maturity. My marriage comes off in Aug! Miss Blondelle is just sixteen and perfectly devoted to me, I assure you comicbooks.com