Judge — May 12, 1888 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

on be nell ght oat Yern0- have eand erate veral eased eyed heek could JUDGE 73 RHYMES TO HER CIGARETTE. Her cigarette! “Tis fixed and met— A constant star that glows before me, The while sbe breathes Slow curling wreatbes ‘That float in dreamy fra- grance o'er me. With dew her eyes are sweet and earnest, Her beart {x kind, Her thoughts refined, Her principles are of the sternest Her cigarettet If Tcan get Some quaint old poet, song or story, Rome time-worn screed, We smoke, and read, And she is simply in her ‘glory. Her cigarettet If I dared fret, Or show her deeper depths of on, Se smokes with me, She'd calmly raise And ets ene be Her tranquil gaze Bea eamaruie on this hard And freeze me out in friendly condition, fashion Her cigarette! And so, you bet, T'm not rehearsing terms to lead in: My heart may ache, But I won't take The chance of being bounced from Eaten. MK, BRIDGES. NO NEED TO SEND ABROAD. Young wife—John, did you post my letter asking Mr. Potts of New York to send me a new bustle of the largest size?” Young husband—" No; I didn't think it Young wife—* Why not, if { may ask?” Young husband—' Editor Tomney is going to enlarge his paper ext week,” necessary.” He's bung up bis clothing, all wrinkled and old, Through summer's warm days to repose: It remains to be seen whether Uncle was sold, Or only that bundle of clothes. AT COOPERSTOWN, 'm very glad you concluded to come again this season, Miss Elson." Is there any special reason for your Joy after your experience of last year? Scwnons—" Yea. I've joined an amateur dramatic society, and I want you to help ~ that refusal scene of ours again. I'm going to play a crushed lover.” POINTERS. A little nonsense now and then is written by the best of men. Bismarek plays the game of politics well; but then hedocs most of the dealing himself. There is an alderman in New York who is neither fat nor dishonest. But he is ve lonesome. If the tariff debates continue a few weeks longer most of the con: gressmen will be glad to go on a tariff somebody will pay the expense. As soon as the present thea 1 season ends it will be the old Vokes at home. HE KNEW ALL ABOUT IT. Small boy—" Uncle, do you understand the rule of three?” Uncle—* Perfectly, my boy. I live with my father-in-law, my mother-in-law, and my wife.” A FAMOUS NAME FOR A DOG. “Why do you call your dog Wellington, Mr. Slobson?” ** Because of the ease with which he can rend a bone apart.” ENTIRELY FAMILIAR WITH THE SUBJECT. Young Mr. Freshly (to his tutor)—‘* Will you tell me something of the reign of terror? You know all about it I believe.” Absent-minded professor—" Reign of terror? Know about it? Ishould say Idid, Six children at my house--oldest nine—youngest, three—and all down with the whooping-cough.” ‘A SCOOP ON JOURNALISM. ReTeRNtxo TRAGEDIAN—"I ain't goin’ ter give none of them newspaper chaps a chance ter say I come back on th’ heel-an‘-sole express this time.” HE WAS SAFE. Briefless—* Do you know that our friend Quashit has a new type-writer? Quibble—** He has, eh? T'll bet you he’s married inside of a year.” Briefless—'* No, it isn’t as dangerous as that. Only a freckle-faced boy of twenty. TIME WILL TELL. ‘Ish dot a Cherman or an Enklish papy?* “1 really can't determine; Both, may be: ‘Twas born in England, but ts father's German.” “Ach, soht Ach. sob!” Exclaimed the nurse, sa accents meek: “Den vait to see vat lenkvetch he vill schpeak, Den ve vill know!" NOT IN FASHION. Native of Philadelphia (who has recently come to New York, dis- cussing the benefits of that peaceful metropolis with a friend who once enjoyed a brief sojourn in the city of brotherly love)—" Didn't you notice the absence of bustle there, Mr. Scott?” “Why, no; I can’t sa But it was so long ago, perhaps they had not come in y I mean commot “Beg pardon, madame. NOT HIS STYLE. Wife—“ John, why did you give that beggar a dollar when a half would have done just as well?” Husband—" My dear, I never do anything by halves.” comicbooks.com