Judge, 1888-05-12 · page 3 of 16
Judge — May 12, 1888 — page 3: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Judge Magazine Satire Analysis This page collects brief satirical vignettes mocking everyday social hypocrisies and absurdities. Key pieces include: **"Official Impudence"**: A businessman is rudely dismissed by Collector Magone when asking pleasantly about the weather, then Magone suddenly becomes obsequious when the same man demands his signature with attitude. The satire targets inconsistent bureaucratic behavior based on perceived power dynamics. **"On the Wrong Donkey"**: A woman insists she's been watching a donkey all evening to ensure correctness—obviously ridiculous logic. **"The Last Straw"**: A wife, exhausted by marital conflict, retaliates to her husband's criticism by saying she's "watching you grow old"—biting domestic satire. **Other vignettes** mock: incompetent Montana widows, tedious train travel, a teacher's student attending "in spirit" while the rooster crows outside, and a condemned man unconcerned about execution rope etiquette. The humor relies on absurdist logic, social class observations, and marital discord—typical Judge magazine fare satirizing Gilded Age American society.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
JUDGE var | aly ON THE WRONG DONKEY. Mins Notun (affizing the tail) OFFICIAL IMPUDENCE. Business man to Collector Magone—" pleasant day, sir.” Collector Magone (with great severity)—" Sir, I ha discuss the weather, What do you want?” Business quickly dispatched and business man retires with choleric ind! ions and much haste. ‘Second business man (slapping his papers on the Magone desk)— “Your signature, sir, and no blank guff about it!” Collector Magone (with sudden appreciation of his position as a nt of the business public)—" Oh, ah! To be sure, rs and bows the gentleman adieu with some . good morning. A no time to wer COMFORT ON THE BRIDGE. Jaggs (of Brooklyn) —"* This is the first day I ever managed to get across the bridge without having the life half squeezed out of me.” Bobley—* Indeed! Better train service nowt Jaggs I walked.” HAD A ROPE ON HIS NECK, TOO. Visitor (to Montana widow)— And you say your husband met bis death by falling off a scaf- fold? Montana widow—* Yes; poor * Well, no. Visitor —* How far did he fall?” Montana widow—Er—oh, the fall was about three feet, I think.” And then upon our various fancies. Now, with my neighbor, Pl obey The gentle mandate to the letter: Yet I'm afraid [love the maid, Not as myself, but vastly better. sncing over the morning Peper: “1 know Iam not well Posted in physiology, but when it comes to reading that a man was. “shotin Ins saloon,’a ‘boy mortally hurt in the alley,’ and a ‘ woman injured on the b: I may as ¥ell own up to complete ignorance ‘A CULINARY festival.’ * Mas. Swertser (quotingy—"* And now, my lond, thy Indye rare is ready for the “Tm sure I must be right, because I have been keeping my eye on the donkey all the evening.” THE LAST STRAW. There has been a terrible scene between husband and wife. At last er, not thinking of anything more outrageous to say, mildly nd pray what are you looking at me in that stupid way for?” 1 watehing you grow old.” HE WAS WITH THEM IN SPIRIT. School-teacher— Where is Tommy? He is never in gin scripture lesson. Harry (eagerly) —"Oh, but I'm sure he doesn't forget his lesson, because yesterday while you were asking us about St. Peter's denial I heard him crow twice out in the yard.” WHILE TRAVERSING THE TIES. Friend— Don't you find it monotonous work traveling from ss when indeed; one has to be constantly on the lookout for wildeats and specials.” CAUSE AND EFFECT. In a cafe, ** Waiter, these dominoes are in a filthy condition—all spotted and broken—not fit for gentlemen to play with.” Oh! T see, sir; you've been losing.” HE WOULDN'T NOTICE IT. Sheriff (his first: execution) — “T'm afraid that rope isn’t fixed around your neck in the most ap- proved fashion.” Condemned man your soul! don’t wor; thing like that, Ish A QUEER DIET. Wiggins — “Hello, Boble how's this?’ What's become o! t gold-mounted umbrella you were carrying the other day?" Bobley—"T'v Wiggins—“* Bobley —° pay a board-bill. “Oh, bless: about a little n't notice it.” SHE WAS IN A HURRY. “Sir! what do you mean ng your arm around my waist?” He--* Do you object?” She—"' Mr, Arthur Gordon, I'll uu just five hours to remove BRUTE. Of those parts of the a jatomy.” Me. Sweeter (iho has been waiting an hour)" Vm very giad you're rare. was afraid after all this time you might be a little too well done.” 1 Kive your arm.” comicbooks.com