Judge — May 5, 1888 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE HUM OF THE COURT. “If T fail in this,” says J. O. O'Connor, “I shall go back to journalism.” So also says John L. Sul There is a free ballot for even the babies at all the May-poles. van, Anybody can be a journalist, and, as every: Madame Delia Diss Debar, how we wonder what you are! Up body knows, it is the last resort of disappointed men among the spirits high, in the Tombs and not so fly. We see how it is. Edward R. Phelps is in Albany for the purpose of holding day and evening prayer-meetings. There are so many plans for preserving the dead that one becomes apprehensive as to the preservation of the living. There is so much talk as to the game of poker that old lovers of the art, like ourselves, have to be constantly chalking their cues. A newspaper writer says George Gould wouldn't smoke a cigar for a farm; but we dare nobody hws offered him the farn “When do you start for Europe?” “Oh, I am so late as to the starting that my Main anxiety now relates to the coming back.” Those Democratic papers which refuse.to support Mr. Cleveland because of his tariff views are enthusiastic for Hill because he basn’t any. These aqueduct explosions must stop,” exclaims Mr, Hill with much firmness.“ Why! [had a narrow escape fro: one of them only a few months age Thomas F. Bayard declines the newspaper nomination of a un with Mrs. Folsom with such haste and apparent sincerity that one is obliged to believe he is rather anxious for it, It is likely that Matthew Arnold will find heaven very much to his liking; but he will first have to have authority to arrange a few details in accordance with his wsthetic desi A DESPERATE. SITUATION. foe doggy! Say. friend, call seatmty)—" Can't di “a deaf asa post. Wait till be ge Jan‘ I'l try to ketch his eye. He minds by sight.” “Jay Gould isn’t very strong in controversy,” as Mr. Bennett says; but his present of land worth $32,000 to the regents of the Mount Ver- non association is among the most eloquent matter presented for the consideration of a discriminative public. “Very affectionate creature,” said the scriptural editor of an eve- ning newspaper of one of the lions at Central park as the beast reached for him with his. p Recognizes me at a glance. Wants me to come in there and take the part of Daniel.” A distinguished boodler was refused, directly after his death, ad- mission to paradi Your honor is too hasty,” he said with depreca- tory surprise. “*T have appealed my case to this court, and pending the appeal I have a right to occupy the premises.” But as he had no money in his shroud the app nd meanwhile he is obliged to exercise himself mere! XK AA FORGETTING HIMSELF SUGHTLY, iN AN PRETENDED RAF, DUMB, MLIND AND CRI ICANT (to departing benefactor)— “ Hould on, sor! This quarther is plugsed wid lead!” The Courier-Journal says of Murat Halstead, He knows what he Iking about when he is not talking.” ‘There area few other words ubstance of it. Iph to Otto Bismarek—“Vieh [declares you're meddlin’ vith that as doesn’t concern ye. Let my grand-darter halone, »° man! You tal your state an’ I takes care 0” my church Mark Twain always wears slippers on a railroad train; though we ould find room enough if he clothed his feet in the ws large boots. Still, something is due to the comfort of the other passen- gers. A woman ha ily under the heading * Labor's Female Cohorts , remarking hysterically that she had never been a cohort in her life, took to her bed and didn't rise for three weeks It was Solomon who directed the deeding of Uncle Marsh's prop- erty to the adventuress now in jail: but then it was Socrates who directed the reversal of the transfer—so that they have their courts of appeal over there too, A recent report as to prohibition in Maine shows that there isn't any, and that the intoxicants sold there are vile. “I never go to a temperance hotel.” once remarked Artemus Ward, ** because they sell stich bad liquor there.” There has recently arisen the question whether Mr. Conkling be- lieved R. B. Hayes iene fairly clecual. We remember that Mr. Conk. SOONG A Me MEW OMENS: deti xreat speech of his life in behalf of Set ee Oe cir rad becwie Coan for tie a nd that he never word, “ the hymnal comicbooks.com