Judge, 1888-03-24 · page 6 of 16
Judge — March 24, 1888 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple short humorous sketches typical of Judge's satirical format: **"Quit Your Foolin'"** depicts courtship humor—a man's failed attempts at flirtation with a girl who repeatedly rebuffs him with "Quit your foolin'!" until he finally gives up, at which point she apparently becomes interested. The satire mocks the confusion of romantic signaling between genders. **"He Stuttered, But He Got There"** jokes about a stammering man successfully proposing despite his speech impediment, suggesting persistence overcomes obstacles. **"It Must Have Been Very Weak"** satirizes homeopathy—a medical student dismisses a patient's belief in homeopathic treatment as ineffective, implying the patient's improvement must reflect the remedy's weakness rather than any efficacy. The remaining sketches offer brief comedic vignettes on various social situations—condemned prisoners, office workers, and romantic misunderstandings. The humor relies on wordplay, irony, and observations about everyday human behavior rather than specific political events.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
QUIT YOUR FOOLIN’. Girls is queer! [ use’ to think umny didn’t care for me, er T would try ts, to see take ‘em —sweet or Any lovin How’ she'd sour,— Always, saucy-lik Once, agoin’ home fom church, Jest to find af it would work, Round her waist 1 slipped ari My! you'd ought ‘o seen her jerk. Spunky? well, ted so— And she snapped me up as perk— “Quit your foolin’! ” my y laughed, — ohn,” says Girls is queer ! Sh Cheeks all din y * twas jest the same, Till one night Psays, says L, thokin’ sume Tinust admit, Tremblin’ some IT don't ever gits in't for 4 . I took the hint. we Quit our foolin’. An’ quit fo« deus, GEORGE ARCHIBALD, HE STUTTERED, BUT HE GOT THERE ALL THE SAME. nd not his fault, that he stattered, passage. y much for me, darling 2” BApExscusriprx. grascious! 1 “Dot doctor say families usd do somedings for a li fortune, ina le Though it was his m it was amusi vin “Do y really cure so softly quer “Dud sus IT MUST HAVE BEEN VERY WEAK. Smith (an old-school medical student and a new boarde mistress of the house)—" Mrs, Jone: are you not?” Mrs, Jow Smith—- she does a dud—dud—duek cue—eue you are a believer in homeo Indeed I dud—-dud—do, dud—dud are the one pup—pup—priceless pup—pup—pearl anv pearls, pup—pup—Polly ! You are que--que dud—dud—darling | The pup-pup—power that bub--bub--bends me dud sus sweet ¢ i . What made you think so?” eieels, queen of like a reed at thy fuf—fuf— feet 1" And she apparently believed him. DIDN'T WANT TO GO THAT WAY. Female visitor (to condemned murderer)" Are you prepared to. die ¢” Prisoner— ‘sa fel No, mum, not jest yit. Th in No. 343, mum, that's very fond of talking NON-IDENTIFIED. Secretary of the suppression-of: that his cand-case is empty) — Stationer (si ice society (who has discovered nds.” ir; square or round corners!” Stationer—* AN right, sir. (Ina whisper) Short or long deck?” LOYAL TO THE BACKBONE. — nue. ON THE OTHER LEG. Yew York yirl (to Boston visitor)—*Take a good look at that Bagley yan. That's Canon Wilberforce. Isn't he fine look 3 Hige Boston girl— Yes; but he can't come up to Mike Kelly even a nod.” - Aw, did you notice passed Us without Gagley(sul Bagley—"‘Owes you some money, I suppose?” Gagley- but he told me the other day that you'd been trying to borrow from him. Bagley seeks a new field THAT UNCUT PAGE Boggs (tossing the paper to his wife)—" There! If you'd like to read the unmitigated rot that passes for wit now- adays, just take a look at that 1" Mrs. B. (peering into the paper) — “Why, Henry ! Here's that stove-pipe story of yours! Boggs (eagerly) Let's see. Wh: cut that pa * Eh? forgot to He is an awful liar, But he'll lie no ——— more: Miutiosaine ratRos : For, “ruling passion strong left out one very essential feature.” HER FIRST VENTURE. ih” Mr. Trees" Excuse me, sir, but I thought you wouldn't cary to base Avst Gwexootise—" It's uo use, Jack ; you might as well put i Jeathts eset-er—wart reproduced.” me on shore again, I never can craw] in through that little round at death's Miutiosaine. patrox—"*Confound you, sir: I'm talking abo oor, in the world.” mond pin—not the wart soon IN VERY HOT WATER. “The portrait is excellent, Mr, Tubes, hat you're ede comicbooks.com