Judge, 1888-03-24 · page 7 of 16
Judge — March 24, 1888 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains multiple satirical pieces typical of Judge's humor: **"Buzz Saws"** (left) mocks rural dialect and ignorance through a farmer explaining his town's name "Horseheads" in exaggerated backwoods speech—satire of perceived rural stupidity. **"Chicago Sensitiveness"** ridicules upper-class Chicago society's vanity: a wealthy woman rejects a suitor because he noticed she had a sty (eye infection), suggesting shallow materialism. **"Preparing to Celebrate"** appears to feature ethnic caricatures (Irish and German accents in the dialogue) discussing decorating for the seventeenth—likely St. Patrick's Day satire mocking immigrant communities. **"A Straight Tip"** depicts a stock-boy messenger predicting market panic during financial volatility—satirizing working-class superstition about stock market behavior. **"On a Street Car"** and **"Thus Conscience Doth Make Cowards"** use vignettes to mock various social types and hypocrisies—common Judge format. The page emphasizes class divisions, ethnic stereotyping, and social pretension typical of Gilded Age American humor.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
BUZZ SAWS. JUDGE EXPLANATORY, AN you tell me, farmer Pi it’s not too much to ask, How this northern town of Horse- heads got its name The department nomenclative of the atlas of ) Seems to be, in lucidation, slight- ly lame. “Them words of yourn is palin’ 5 “TW taown wuz labeled * Horse- heads’ jes ter pass away th’ time Till ine full-growed juck- should come by ‘A SPLENDID IMITATION. We sadmiring at came of fencer" Aren't they Veautifuly Drs paige, they CHICAGO SENSITIVENESS. The best girls don't get married the soonest. The scene was Chicago, of pork: The maid had inherited wealth fron She gave the Because he averred she'd a sty on her eve, rain before you show your purse. The baldsheaded nin always wants a good shaw ‘The fool has many advantages over the wise man Itis easy to learn the things that are of no use to us, PREPARING TO CELEBRATE. Officer Hontihan—* Oi wondher phy the d stad in’ all the green sthuff from the kangaroo heyant? ‘hmitz—"“1 dinks | alretty for dot sevendeenth of ‘ing to decorate.” don't speak now, A STRAIGHT TIP. ast. In a broker's office during the flurry. ) nis ready enough to give you a lift in this world, pro: Stock-boy (waiting for notice)—"* They'll be a panic toxmorrer.” viding he ean do it with his foot. A.D. T. messenger-—" Will they?” Stock-boy—"Didiw 1 jissay sor” ON A STREET CAR. A.D. T. M.—" Wouldin’ Griggx—* What onearth isthe + y ‘ like to see one?” matter with th a a Stock-boy A.D. T.M. Stock-boy— poor article that can’t get testimonials, $ knocked the lifelong hone out of 1 The thief often looks more respectable than the honest man. A dog will answer to any name when you show him a bone. The obstinate ea captain whos sto his ap ate n gets drow nel hd hat fer?” ing to put broker, an’ den brace another, on Pde qu Stock-boy “THUS CONSCIENCE DOTH MAKE COWARDS OF US ALL.” Tramp a pie L stole 2 re, Yj 4 A.D. T. M.- “How muel oo Twen'y olf ver wind. 1 TL want te message, 0° course,” Stock-boy—" Yer think gitit, but yer wouldin’, jis de » A.D. T. M. I'm tough, | wouldn't jut [don't dai ta strange : i bac mince pie.” i g Stock-boy -- °° Yis, an’ company gits onto yer You say he has ne heart: he but dis- 7 slidin’ up hill on uppers.” semble ARRIVED IN DUE TIME startle him Vhere dhere was no conshtancy Lapaiext exetovrn—” Michael! are Sonor are you not going tosend that water pay videlity must go out. it trent up? [ll give you just two minutes more to do s0,"" End of the aforesaid two minutes. Michael was the new janitor. He had beea there but one week, aud it was lis last comicbooks.com