Judge — March 24, 1888 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGE'S PHOTOGRAPHS. THE LARKY SWI His jet ‘elids twinkle from behind cigar as he lays his lengthy elbows on a. polished ; or he idly twirls a stick upon the hotel stoop, while his id figure poses with the regul. His dress is quite imni in black and whi with ish stock of je bedazzling to the sight. loves to wateh the women as they saunter on the pave, with a doleful caste of countenance, as sombre as the grave. When he's busted, at the races you may hear him- shout the odds, and he signals with lis fingers when a quiet better nods; or in a billiard-parlor he will count the time and cents, or LL, twirl his snowy apron as he says, “Please name it, gents.” Ju Se fe] Bus he loves above all pleasures to lean back against the wall and with his index finger start the little m le ball, Or for change he likes to tumble silly rusties in a wreck with a foreign style of language ashe deals a faro deck. When he’s flush his gaudy costumes are the jatterns for his crowd; for, literally speaking, they are something more than loud. His conversation isn’t quite the choicest and the ed by musele and a for ptions of each grand, historic lammed th “Beplan” out of si tell how ~ short, I moral part Bat even ti silver may have quite an honest rir every desperado don't by very odds swing. will find him in his bed b a Jothes with a reverential posture this stitly frozen toes, ‘The Criminals Companion will devote “Chatham Charley" died remarkably true ill ali chip in to raise a pile of stones athan Charley's” bones, His chums and y he final layout of + DEWITT STRRRY. LEAP YEAR SCORES ONE FOR MINNEAPOLIS. “Yer ain't got no ice | thest. Pant bo. Botthe Minneapolis youth drew himself up proudly, and away the true inwardness of th domestic cirele in a Itant tone tke hain’t. to her ce in yer old second-rate city,” sneered w suit of close clear through fer the weddin TOO MUCH LIBERTY. First servant girl" How do you like your jast missus rant girl—*T don't * Doesn't nough liberty 7 ant girl — “She gives ine too much; she dis- charged me yesterday.” Secowl DEFINITIONS. Bachelor—A wild goose that tame gre avy. Prison S00 An oven into which iy puts newly-made crime to hanlen Tares— Periodical bleeding, as Prescribed by government. Glutton —One that digs his Grave with his teeth. car for no man,” halts—he ne: it will be our soldiers whi to be a field of oats. ON FOURTH AVENUE, Westcnester ranaen (hi has just discovered electric car behind him). cast loose, will yer? Old Mag's willin’, but I'm blowed ‘f I'm a goin’ ter let ber haul a hoss- THOSE COUNTER LUNCHES. + Waitah, will you be kind enough t+ put a spoonful of my oyster I've b ere half an hour, and the smell is all Te Rot of it, ONE MUST DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE, point at which the imagination of the Dakota poet san ode to “ ye idle winde.” There is THE RETORT DISCOURTEOUS. Two Germans in Alsace passed by a field where a peasant was sowing. “Sow away, old chap,” said one of them; will eat it.” “I shouldn't wonder if they did,” replied the peasant, when the grain is ripe asit happens You fellows don't know what wheat tastes like.” IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER. In an assize court. Prisoner—* 1 admit that in 1870 I was sentenced for theft, in 1875 ; and in 1881 I killed my father and sister.” Judge (abstractedly)—" Well! go ou!” ENCOURAGING THE BUSINESS. A thief was about to relieve a Wall street operator of his handker- when a by-stander called the latter's attention to wi was ” said the broker, good: humoredl) y down here,” FORCE OF HABIT. Gruggins, a barber, was called to shave a corpse. After he had finished with the razor even the undertaker was shocked to hear him say, “Shampoo, sir?” we all have LOST HIS CUSTOMER. Hotel runner * You come right along mit me. Dey vill starf you at dot obbosition house !” Traveler — “*'Fraid I can't, mister. I’m in trainin’ for a job asa livin’ skeleton.” THE CHIEF REQUISITE. “Do all the great Americans drive canal boats when young? If so, will all the canal boys who die young be great men in heaven ?—-Foreign exchange. When he went up above he knocked at the gate With confidence in his ey: For on earth (U. 8.) as a billionaire s honored by low and high. But Peter gave him a low-down It's a sad, sad truth, But I nowhere at all on your ree- ords find: “He drove acanal-boat in youth,’ * “Say thar’ The north pole must bea para- dise if it be a no-pun sea. comicbooks.com