Judge — March 17, 1888 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

5 THE CLOSING OF A CHESTNUT BURR. An immense and beautiful Universal Home of Rest, of the exquisite Colonial-Gothi Queen-Anne sty! 5 architecture, with a commodious : Veterinary Hospitalian Repository attached, is soon to be erected in our national metropolis of Chestnutburg. The for i to pre istocratie abiding place for all auburn-] ’ » ladies who are unable or Hie was Nee indigposed_ te support themsel ve pd who do not pendicu| cuineous appendages in the shape She was of wealthy and generous relatives; the latter is to be ' 1. fitted up for the tender care of all disabled With Atdan white horses for the remainder of their automatic, It is to be built entirely with the munifice And a quadrilateral arrangement of her raised from the nickel subscriptions of the editors of the World, who feel that the number of items furnished by the above-mentioned firm for dant their spicy original columns has rendered the said Of all womankind was Miss Cynthia An} Now Miss Cynthia's progenitor was descended from a se He was boastful of his pedigree and his genea- Of his, ds nd his pelf and his most bom- hastic self, And believed in Darwin's theory, which was his strong “idee Also in cremation for people of high station And his customary oath was, Then m fiss Cynthia Anne Jones with her pride, her her bones. terred in ©: Declaring aflirmati + papa’s views on cre- mation, While her very id yearn for ashes in an urn, As she said with solemn pride, when she lay down and died, p wished ashes made from bones of Miss Cynthia Anne Jones, va fire tremendous, with results Miss Cynthia deeply felt the loss of parent, S stupende houses, golden’ dross, With no regard fe And filled the air with consternation, el his houses, stocks and store, his hanks dreams of glory all were past, And at the last seized Jones himself, expon- And in the earth like come ke went ent of cremation, Cynthia Anne Jones. wae THE OLD-TIME TRUST. Mrs. Beefsteak This is very sudden, Mr. St ey. Why do you wish to go?” Starveley Vhy, Lsee you have set up a boarding-house trust.” Why do y y that?” Starreley—* Because you don't seem to pay any regard to consumers.” editors the debtors of the foregoing parties te an in- jeulable T acent county the same sum). and will be culti ment all writers who meddle hereafter with this sacred topic, which, the herein-before: red-to editors have solemnly declared, has, by its long Per i its present rs, earned the right to honorable retirement from the lists unto its everlasting rest. OM Sweetfern had his cigar-store Do you think you could fill that THEY HAD TO HAVE HIM. Stranger on the L road —*That’s a very scholarly-looking man for a mere bra! Intelligent citizen —"* He's a professor of elocution in Colum- bia college, and is only on for the day. A party of excursionists from Schene ve ‘ed him to call off the streets so as to be sure where th COULD GIVE HIM SOMETHING COOL. (Scene, a Dakota bar-room. Temperature, eighty degrees be- - low zero.) Stranger—‘* Will you please make me a cold lemonade THE HALT AT GRAD f . bis Bartender—* I haven't a lemon in the house, but there’s a linen duster upstai Da pom v-Exix—" Av anny man'll say pfwhat use Oj am, be jabers hi comicbooks.com