Judge — March 17, 1888 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PRECAUTIONARY. Higyins—" Goin’ up to de Cooper union Wigqins—"* Ya Higgius—" Well, let's: walk trou de Bowery under de ele- wated, Higgins cully. De cleanly pussons in de union “Why “T' get a shower-bath, don't allow any un- A POOR RULE THAT WON'T WORK BOTH WAYS. Mother “Johnny, did you ask your employer if you might get Sow . the boss never speaks to me about it when he goes.” A UNANIMOUS VERDICT. They were discussing t ji of one Wright, who. for president of a mately comps and who got defeated. * Well,” said one, summing it up, be president than. be Wright All concurred, JACOB SHARP'S DUAL POSSIBILITIES. And yet, as trial day approaches, his bondsmen seem to have no appre- hension that it may be a ease of Jake-ill or hide. HIGHLY FLATTERING. “May [have the pleasure of thi Mn. Horpen. SO NATURAL. “WI deen play do you think tling m: and how did you ma “Well! you see, Laid the something and said ‘it wasn’t fit for kin on the floor, Then T said he was ‘a foc and left the room, and T called him a * brute «DIFFICULT TO PLEASE. B. say of nothin; un concei¥ What Mrs. “Dkr sime time I one’s partner for life entirely free from the green-eyed monster.” IN THE SMOKING-ROOM. Chawlie—* Smoking, Chappie ? wt Chappie—" Can't say that I do.” Charlie of tol end and a fool at the othaw,’ ye know.” Chappie-" Do youn insinuate that this isn’t ae NO BREACH OF CONTRACT. Baller—" 1 thought you sai this. ture would ame out quickly 4 Vin getting balder and Barter hair coming out?’ “Well, isn’t your MARL KNEW HIS CUSTOMER. “Mein Gott, Karl! vou subbose dot skinny vt himself outside of de His skin vill edch. He vos a One of the pl portunate tailor utes later have him walk into Delinonic cent dinner.” —Vouraine. Miss Sxow (rishing to show her preference) dance with every Tom-Dick-and-Harry, but Pll make an exception of you.” rling mamma? Little Tommy and I have Then he tasted 0 eat,’ and threw his nap- Wel nd then he swore awful ient asa jealous husband; at the of nothing more humiliating than to have Don't ye know the old defawni- he world is to do as young Smiley did; meet yc t you have 38 DRY ENOUGH. To preach his sermon Parson White, On Sunday cares intent, With no umbrella, through the town. Improvidently went. The skies grew black, a sudden rain Came pitilessly dc And dripping wet our parson met His brother parson—Brown. » for church,” said nd waiting flock to do.” * Pass on into your pulpit, man, And when you're there you'll be Fall dry enough, T'll warrant you!” Said Parson Brown, said h MS. GEONOE ARCHIBALD, VERY LIKELY. When the clergy begin to form a “ trust " we suppose it will be called a “trust in the Lord.” THOUGHT IT WAS A LAW TERM. A.—I understand the judge de- cided against you in your law-suit.” Be" A.—It seems to me that it was. an iniquitous decision.” B.-—""1 don't’ know —1 haven't asked my, lawyer yet.” dance, Miss Suobt* “Thanks, Mr. Hopper. Tdont SAD. Jones was relating at his club a ad read in a newspaper, You see, 1 it was a charming young girl, a second Venus, and she was so badly used at home that she went and threw herself into a well twenty feet deep. She might have d poor thing, but fortun there was about six fe tom that bre er fall.” t happened then?” hing incident he brains out, the bot: nterrupted an intensely interested “What happened? Why, she was drowned, of course. A TERRIBLE SCENE. The conversation had turned on the recent ravages of wolves in when Jones remarkee you please, Not long ago I found myself face face with three ravenous lyn Snow ered the ground, and it was evidently a long time since they'd had their break- fast. Their fierce eyes glared on me and I was without weapons.” “Well Well! I. stared steadily at them in return, then turned my heel and went off whistling.” * And they didn’t spring upon you?” “How could they? They were Central park SOUND ADVICE. A newspaper man consulted a Brown has threatened to kick me if he meets me out in society Suppose you were me and should see him come into the room, tld you do?” Sit down.” HE HAD BEEN CREMATED. Fair feminine friend—"What have you in that urn on the mantel pie ne—ashes of roses?” Widow—"* No, ashes of John.” ‘ta cent in your pocket. and fifteen min. nd find you enjoying (») axeven dollar and eighty comicbooks.com