Judge, 1887-09-03 · page 6 of 16
Judge — September 3, 1887 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several short satirical pieces typical of Judge's humor: **"Whom the Gods Would Destroy"** mocks romantic miscommunication—a man misinterprets a woman's polite invitation, flattering himself that she's eager to see him when she merely hoped he'd visit her sister. **"Little Difference Between Two"** satirizes Chicago corruption. Two men boast of knowing a politician named McGargle; one mentions they grew up together, the other reveals McGargle stole from the county. The joke: there's little moral difference between a common thief and a corrupt politician—both are criminals, just operating in different spheres. **"Uncongenial Occupation"** stereotypes Italian immigrants. A newly-arrived Italian wants to return home after his brother secures him work cutting soap in a Turkish bath—supposedly dangerous or unpleasant labor, played for ethnic humor. **"A Surf-Fit"** is a lighthearted poem about a woman rejecting a poor suitor who can't "shell out" money—puns on beaches and shells throughout. The remaining pieces are brief jokes and puns, typical filler content for the magazine.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
y fF tts WHOM THE GODS WOU.D DESTROY THEY FIRST MAKE Mins Beas —" Are you coming to see sister again tomorrow night, Me, De Lillie » De L—" Weller.ab-er—{ don . Tm sure, Why do you ask, Mist Benale ¥ Muss B.—" She said she hoped ould come, and™ De L. (highly flattered and interruptingy—" disappointment to your sister" Misa B.—" Yea, she said she hoped you would come to-morrow night, ax she would be ut LITTLE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE TWO. First Chicagoan—"* Know McGarigle? Of course Ido. and I were brought up together.” Second Chicagoan—*' Is that so? He took to stealing from the county, while—er—may Task what your business is ? First Chicagoan—* Yes, sir; I'm in the plumbing Why, he RESULT OF EARILY TRAINING. “Your counsel is rather long-winded.” remarked a witness to the defendant. * Yes,” was the reply; ‘he used to be a barber.” A SURF-EIT. I know a little fe And he asked me for my hand : He said I'd be his mermaid, But he hasn't got the sand Nor rucks for me to sport on, ow, As the seasons come about, And I want a shell as Venus, But this chappie can’t shell out. And Ido admire his freshness, Though he he says he just adores me very much at seit, ¥ or he sees so much of me. on the beach Pm tripp Tadmire the fellow's gall, rs For he makes such puns on stripping, And that I outstrip them all. And I tell the little fellow, As I trip along the beach, That I think that be is tripping In his declaration speech And about my hathing costume. When I leave the sounding sea And I meet him in the city, He won't see so much of me. HE KNEW BETTER. Johnson was going along the street when he came across the sign * Fire-works.” “It's a blamed lie!” exclaimed Johnson; * fire doesn’t work.” CHESTNUT SIGNS. Bargains. Boy wanted. » off the grass, Selling out at cost. Will be back in ten minutes. Stock slighty damaged by fire. M candy fresh every hour. lasses SENTENTIOUS. Mrs. MceMahan—“ Av you sthep wan fut in th’dure, MeM'an, OVIL pit th’ flat side av th’ ironin’-boord an yure back. It's dhrippin’, soakin’ wit yez bees.” fahan—“Thrue fer yez, . thrue fer yez, an n ting Oi'd be dh: MeMahan—* Onn’ 4 fahan—“ Yis. We wor diggin’ MeNulty's well, an’ piin th’ shower ke Vs turern th’ well oopsy doon an’ git oonder it udn't do.” (Swish ! swash ! flap! and a ked ironing-board.) 1 OOP, MAD. res yes! Certainly, by all means, I shall come, if my absence would be any manner of UNCONGENIAL OCCUPATION. Sunny Ialian—* Mea wanta teecket home by ze boata Independenc Steamship passenger agent— Why, you came out only last month | Sick of the country, Pietro Sunny Italian Verra. Ze pozeetion my broder getta me here ees no agreeabletto, ” it?” ke! when I land, he say, ‘Come, utting soap in ze Turkeesh bath Steamship agent—"* What ¥ Sunny Italian—" Ab! ze sna-a Pietro, you getta four dolla a wee house.” His backa has iy stileti HE KNEW HIM. Stranger (in New York)—* Four pounds of chrome please Dealer-—“*Yes, sir; andh yellow, is the bakery business in Philadelp * Howly mither 0° Moses : an’ is it you, Pat ** ‘s misilf, me dartint. I wuz passin’ by th’ house whin Ithoreht I'd ‘drop in’ comicbooks.com