Judge — August 27, 1887 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

UNDER a hoary The editor's sanctum stands, The ed., a wondrous man is he With large and grasping hands ; And the muscles of his purse’s strings Are strong as iron bands, His hair is black and .ank and long, His face is like a pin, His brow is wet with eager sw As he scoops a new joke in, For the old ones have graced his inky page Till they're pale and worn and thin, Week in, week out, motn till night, You can read his aged pun; You can hear him clipping some tottering tale From the humorous New York Sun ; Like a wounded soldier who gasps for aid When the battle is grimly done, from aids with poems armed Look in at the ope He goes on Sunday to the church, ph Df a slightly humorous kind. When the plate is pase his purse-strings still Are the * blessed ties that bind. he editor? see him they are so glad ing, joking and punning, rd through life he soes Each morning sees some tired pun, Some joke at ever close, cream gil to the plumber-man, ——O. Ani the toper's ruddy nose. O, thanks to thee, respected friend, For the lesson thou hast taught ; Thus in perennial jokes and puns Are fortunes to be wrought ; 5 ou always radiate Each funny, funny thought. DUVVA MOROAN SXITH. HIS GREAT MISTAKE. Young Noodles (to Griggsby, who is looking very seedy)—"* Why, what is i low, makes you so glum ?” shy (whom wretchedness drives to seek sympathy anywhere he can) —"* N most miserable of men, 've made a fool of mys:If, it was the moor- light, and I'd had champagne for dinner, and—well—I proposed to Miss St. Armand.” Noodles—* And she re- fused you? Oh, my dear boy! you hi Griggsby (roaring with a wrath compounded of many elements) Df you fool! she accepted me.” WORSE THAN THE HEAT. ‘One of our operators was prostrated to-day,” remarked the superintendent of a telegraph com- pany. “I didn’t think it was as hot as that,” was the reply. “It wasn’t the heat,” said the superintendc:t “The man was transmitting the report of the Con cord school of philosophy.” THE SILLY SEASON TO BLAME. “Pm looking for a saddle-horse for my wife,” said Cobwigger. “It’s a hard job because I must have a.white one.” “And why a white one t” asked Merritt “Because,” was the reply, ‘my wife has red hair, you know. at watabmellen, w’y Ef Pompey didn’ st doan’ he look yo" in de ey UNSOLICITED ADVICE. NEWLY-ARRIVED EMIGRANT PROM WEST Cully! Been ‘round wid der boys? Why di nights ‘n give that head a chance to go down! t yer stay in afew AN UNREASONABLE FATHER. At the sea-side in France. father of a family. “Is it possibl “No, she de anton, moi ur is wro young lady should know how to sw The bathing-master is expostulating with the at monsieur does not give his daughter swimming lessons?” esn't need the: the present day, to marry readily, ¢ A LITTLE UNNATURAL HISTORY. Two definitions from a dictionary just published in ¢ red, yellow, or blue. longevity has no limit. . SHE DIDN'T POSE. Miss Decomrre (a model)—" Are you ecquainted with McDaub, the some- hat noted animal painter, Mr, Carmine?” Mu Cansaxe (unmindful of the branch of art mentumed) — Ab, no, 1 think not. Did you ever pose for him?" “ Miggs ? fellow in the crowd.” The cockatoos live a hundred years. HIS GRASPING NATURE. “T never knew till last week what a grasping Why, I thought he was the most ui h Amer dless fish that lives in oil me species as pigeons; generally green, when not When stuffed their ure Miggs has.” assumingly generous little “Well, I went yachting with him last week, and before we got ar Sandy Hook he was wanting the earth.” comicbooks.com