Judge — July 30, 1887 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

WA SONG OF THE TALLY-HO. WHEN [ was young I went a-riding Adown a countr; Fond heart with heart in sweet confiding, 1 the tale I fain odorous scent of morning, 's radiant glow, Zephyr's gentle That all the earth so rich adorning, Chased our tally-ho, Oho! ! come, Dora! come er, e our horses trip tandem in sprightly procession, Hearts of course may indulge in that softest Though now I'm old, I still go driving Adowd the green-decked way, Old joys departing, new arriving, For still a summer day When love is fres! w as long ago, Doth cause two hearts to quick remember Our old tally-ho, ho! Come, Minnie! come, Dora! COULD TELL WHERE HE WAS. NATHAN Me LEVY. The sleeping-car conductor went out on the platform a minute after dark, and when he came back his face was covered with bl “Papa,” said a child, “is that a new porter 2” “No, my child,” replied the father; “we are only running into Pittsburg.” TOO GOOD A LIKENESS. Jones ordered his portrait of an artist celebrated for his fidelity to r “It's for a young lad. “whom I am courting without t ledge of her family.” The artist set to work and was soon able to announce the completion of the picture. “Why, that’s exactly my eyes, and my forehead, ¢ mouth.” “Well?” ** You don’t seem to have understood me, although I took great pains to explain the situation. The young lady's parents are ignorant of our intimacy. “Well?” “Well! that portrait’s no use to me. Why it looks so much like me they'd recognise it at once. You ought to have had sense enough to understand that I didn’t want a good likeness.” LOOKING AHEAD. to say you have children ? Clergyman—"* No, but I expect to get married next week.” comman Sax at's Just the trouble. TACTICAL. He—" 80 you don't care to be mine with all that T have at my — eporter who was i ach with her OLD CHOCOLATE’S TARGET PRACTICE, Judge an’ jury doan’ offen disagree. De po'er de lan’ de stoutah de weeds. A single buckle keeps de ha’ness safe. De bes’ persimmons is allus outen reach. Ef yo' can't cut ‘cross lots, go roun’ by de road. No rich man wid a humped back am offen ‘minded ob it In an a'gument de base drum ull git de bettah ob a thite ebery time. Yo’ can't ‘spec’ anuddah toe hol’ ‘is tongue ef yo" keep jabberin’ yo'se'f. Put a nabob an’ a po’ man in a daak room widout a can dle an’ dey mus’ both grope. Wren yo' doan’ fin’ yo! mule wha’ yo" hitched ‘um, yo is laikly toe ‘spect de fus’ man yo’ meet. : Weak an’ strong offen makea good team. Big Pompe: kin wuck de sails wile little Sam steers de boat. 4.4. watun HIS STANDARD OF MEASUREMENT. ™ Charlie, you have given ¢ smallest apple. You ve given her the largest one, f ich larger than you. WARLIE (icith force of conviction it, Mamma, see how much liner my mouth is than her.” GETS THERE EVERY TIME. There is a beggar in Paris who has a way with the impressionable sex that never fails. When, seated at the angle of a wall, he hears the light step of ~ woman approaching, he humbly takes off his hat, and bending his old head, white with thesnows of seventy Oh, madame! pity me. Have com passion on a poor blind man who is de prived of the pleasure of seeing you.” Few women, it is said, have been able to resist the delicate compliment. WHY NATURE WEEPS. It is said that nature shudders When a woman throws a stone, And that when she sharpens pencils Then all nature gives a groan. But there's nothing that gives nature More keen anguish and distress Than to see a struggling father With a babe he tries to dress. NOT MUCH OF A BORE. Jones was going in the country for six months. “No doubt, you'll find it a great bore.” some one said to him “Oh, no—the only time I find it hard to dispose of isthat from nine in the morn ing to nine at night.” . HE HAD BEEN THERE. “T beg your pardon remarked the i ing a gentle man, ‘but would you mind putting that I don't want to be under your blue'peneil out of sight ? It is so horribly suggestive comicbooks.com