Judge — July 30, 1887 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

BALLADE OF THE HAMMOCK. TO the murmur of leaves drooping low « O'er her form in its pliant content, @ The hammock vibrates through the snow Of the peach-blossoms' drifting descent. Isit with a fan to prevent Any dalliance of wasps or of bees ; And I think to myself she was meant For a model of languorous ease. There's an indolent grace to the flow Of her gown in its cincture loose pent ; Her hair's raveled gold seems to blow To the breezes in idle assent ; The gloom of her lashes is rent By a flame whose soft burning agrees She is sweet when her eyes catch a glow From the green-twinkling boughs overbent, But the sight sways me not, for I know Hammock girls, as a rule, were not sent To cook dinners for men, or invent Little coddling their woes to appease WIT OF THE PLAYERS. First tragedian—“ Heard the latest on old Buskin ?” Low comedian—“ No. What is it ¢” First tragedian—‘* Why, you see he’s been on the stage twenty years and never got a hand in his life. They gave him a good part in the new piece and he made up his mind he'd get some applause if it cost him a leg. He's got eight children, you know, and he planted them in a row in the orches- tra and told them all to shout bravo at the top of their lungs when he reached the climax of his big scene in the second act. What did the kids do but get up and yell ‘Bravo, papa!’ so you couid hear them all over the house. It gave the old man’s snap away.” Sidney Rosenfeld says that he once began to write an article on the difference between the author and the actor, but later experience taught him that there were so many differences between authors and actors that he was compelled to abandon the task in despair, Wealthy amateur actor—‘* My dear Mr. Irving, T heard you were in front last night, and I was pos- itively sorry. I have been suffering from bron- chitis lately, and only the night before you saw me I was obliged to get a physician's certificate to the effect that T was not able to act at all.” Mr. Irving—"* Was a certificate necessary ¢” Tragedian—“ 1 played Hamlet in Paterson last week and gota call at the end of every act.” With the sloth that has graciously lent A model of languorous ease. 1. Goldilocks, would you know my intent? Why vacate the hammock then, please : Your lover would fain represent A model of languorous ease. FROM OUR NEW POCKET DICTIONARY. Mediator—A self-sacrificing individual who places himself between the hammer and the anvil. Mirror—An article of furniture women grow heartily tired of as they grow older. Sparrow—The street Arab of the feathered tribes. VERY SERIOUS INDEED. Wife—‘* What seems to be the matter with my husband, doctor ?” Doctor. ), nothing more than an attack of rheumatism in the pedal extremities.” Wife * Ah, it is worse than T expected. Charley said the pain was all in his feet.” One's wife should not be, you'll consent, A model of languorous ease ! EVA WILDER Mc OLASSON, Manager—* 1 took a company out there week before iast and got one call before the first act, but it was enough. It was for the rent.” THINGS A WOMAN CAN'T DO. Shoot straight. See any beauty in a rival. Keep track of a baseball game Sit down without mashing her bucuc Endure the smell of a strange Cut an old admirer without looking back. Hold up a dress without showing her hose, See the extravagunce of anything she wants, Tell her child's right age to the car conductor. Take an interest in the vital questions of the day. Lose a fiver on the races without getting a headache. Remain in an auction room without losing her head. EFFECT OF THE INTER-STATE LAW. First newspaper man—" Where are you going this summer ¢” Second newspaper man—" Nowhere.” EXPECTATIONS FRUSTRATED, ErwiareT—" I ketched him running at large, Gwendoline, an‘ I kin git fifty cents fer bim to th’ dog pound. Walt here and we'll bev some ice cream.”