Judge — July 23, 1887 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

wiapes HIS PICTURE. IT'S jes’ the very spit o° him, From cowhide boots to bushy brows ; An’ every one that sees it lows They'd spot it anywhar fer Jin It's sort o' shiny in the light, But ef ye hol’ it slantin'-wise, ‘An’ kind o' squint up both yer eyes, Ye'll see a mighty pleasin’ sight ! Ye'll see my man—he'll mebby ‘pear A mite onsartin’-like an’ dim, Ez ef a cloud wat over him. ‘Lhet’s ‘cause the weather warn’t clear, An’ them blue eyes 0° his'n took A sort o° crooket; but I see Thar fun a peekin’ out et me With jes’ that same ole triflin’ look, An’ thet thar scowl acrost his face Lreckon must be meant ter show "Bout whar his sinile hed ought a go Ef it war in its tru ; No differ how ye turn about, n foot ter crown, ide down, put. EVA’ WILDEN Mc OLASSON. OLD CHOCOLATE’S TARGET PRACTICE. By fits an’ staats won't haarves’ hay. Fas’ at de end ob a race am a wi Nebbah was'e blows on a nail d You'll fin’ knots fudder down in de wood-pile. Yo’ can't 'an how toe buy goods outen books. A patch on de eye doan’ allus mean blin‘ness. De lazy woman pos'pones washin’ twell Sat'day. Tradin’ wid a drunken man am nex’ do’ toe stealin’, Many a man dat awtah hab ‘coon mus’ take up wid rabbit. De mockin’-bud in a gol’en cage envies de crow on de wing. Yo! nebbah got struck by lightnin’, but many anoddah has. Ef yo' sometime stole a chicken, doan’ grum'le wen yo’ duck am missin’. Wren strangers fight, d blood. Yo! kin scare many an ‘ones’ man intoe confessin’ dat he stole dem turnips. 's fun; but w'en brudders git at hit dar’s Ef yo’ staat on de wrong road yo'll nebbah git dar’ no mattah how fas’ yo’ trabbel. J. AL WALDRON, BUZZ SAWS. We are apt to miss the things we are most anxious to see. Buying on the installment plan keeps a man poor all the time. Even when we know what we should do very few of us go and do it One-half the world doesn’t know how the other half lives; but the women portion do their best to find out Never give your watch to a baby to play with, because it is apt to use it to cut its teeth on. The countryman who followed the advice of his friends and kept his eye wide open while traveling in a railway train got a cinder in it. 240 HE HAD TO KEEP THAT. “T want ten dollars on that watch,” he said to the pawnbroker. “ Throw in the chain ?” “No: what do you suppose I'd fasten my keys to 7” HIS BUSINESS QUALIFICATIONS. Father—"* Well, what can you say for the young man ?” Daughter—" He's young and handsome and has good business abil- ity.” Father —** How do you know any- thing about his business qualific: tion: Daughter— Why, he has figured out for me time and time again how nicely we could get along if you would make us a present of fifty thousand.” style worn by her grandmother.” De Surru—" Eve." ANCESTRAL FASHION. De Youxo—" By Jove ! That's a stunning suit Miss Van Goldville has on."* De Surrn—" Yaas—she is evid« ntly trying to get as pear as possible to the De Youxo—" Grandmother ? Who !* FATAL IGNORANCE. Mr. SanrH (who te {n total ignorance uf the fact that he is conversing with a blow reta- tive of the hostess) Really, Miss De Lyle, speaking of trade people crowding so rapidly into our most select circles, do you know the father of our charming hostess was at ane time a cobbler? Ai ber when he made my father’s boots, and "— hile placing, | presume, IT MADE A DIFFERENCE. Bagley—' So you're determined on suicide %” Bailey—* Yes; I see ruin staring me in the face on account of my wife's extravagances,” Bagley—* But I thought she had acool million in her own name.” Bailey—** Well, but you must remember she changed her name when she married me.” FALSE ECONOMY. To do part of to-morrow’s work to-day. Living cheap] Going to lay To empl so that you can dress well. bout anything you can compromise. ause he doesn’t charge much. Sitting in the twilight doing nothing in order to save oil. Buyii you don’t want just because they are cheap. Marrying your daughter to an adventurer so as to have her off your hands. To take your money out of the bank and invest it ina wild-cat scheme. Taking your boy from school and allowing him to grow up in ignorance for the sake of the two dollars a week he can earn. a botch be LABOR A RELAXATION. Two loungers on the Paris boule- vards. “And what do you do, old chappie, in your leisure moments ?” “T work.” AN INFALLIBLE SIGN. “That pedler must have ve bananas,” remarked Merritt. ‘I guess T'll go over and get some.” * “What makes you think they are good ?” asked Cobwigger. “* Because,” returned Merritt, ** I see the policeman samples them every time he passes.” comicbooks.com