Judge — July 23, 1887 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

INFATUATION. A SUMMER HOTEL IDOL. I'm so glad you've come, dear; the place is just packed ; The season you know’s at its height. Men scarce? Don't believe it ; it isn't a fact, I danced with a dozen last night. Thought one was enough, dear? The letter I sent? ), yes; 1 remember that line That I was in love. Well, he’s not worth a cent, But his eyes—they are simply divine ! Dance only with him, dear? Well, that’s a good you see, dance at all. A count in disguise, who is proud, but dead broke, And handsome, brave, graceful and tall. ‘A family row, you know, sent him out here, I want IfTtell 5 That's he over the THE WRONG KEY. Amateurs at a concert. “That's a fine number. perb, an “So the critics The style really poetical. so grandiose, the form su- “Then I'll take back everything I’ve said.” HE HAD LEARNED A LESSON. Backwoodsman (in Ohio town)—‘I hear you've struck a well of natural gas here lately. Hotel-keeper ir; got one in our back yard.” Backwoodsman—"‘I wish you'd tell the clerk to turn it off when he shuts up for the night. For heaven's sake warn him against blow- ing it out! I had an experience once myself, mister.” ADVERTISING PAYS. His ma--* Well, Johnny, what did you see at the circus?” Johnny+“The hairy people and Mr, Barnum with a bald head.” A GOOD REASON, Master Tommy is sick and also in- disposed to take the prescribed remedy. “Come, my precious,” says his mother, ‘you must swallow your medicine.” “Tean't. “One always can when one wants to.” “But I don’t want to.” AN EYE TO THE FUTURE. On the boulevards, mind.” “Perhaps your creditors are giving you trouble.” “What! the old ones? Not a bit of it; I'm hunting around for new ones.” WELL QUALIFIED. “How much experience have you had at making cigarettes ¢” inquired the manufacturer. “None atall, sir,” replied the ap- plicant ; ‘but for the last two years I have been an artist's model.” “ Why, Tom, what on earth are you doing with that dog 1" "Oh, this isan bd Thave been working with success for some time. You see, I just throw myself in the water and the dog does the swimming. It saves a great deal of labor.” What wondrous inconsistencies A woman's acts disclose; She bites the hand that would caress, And kisses gives for blows. THE SPRING POET AND THE BLUE DEVIL. A young man who had with incredible toil hammered a spring poem out of his brai ach to dispose of the fruit of } sallied forth with proud heart and empty stom- nius. But theable and stony-hearted editor could discern no merit in the same, and the unhappy poet, with an aching void under his wi istband, returned to his lodgings. That night, as, filled with immeasurable longings for a good beef- steak, he gazed up at theeternal stars, blae devil pounced down upon him, and bearing him high over the city showed him all the people thereof comfortably sleeping in their beds. “You might be as one of these,” said the blue devil, “if it were not for your absurd vanity. Perhaps you want to be remembered by posteri known several ages of posteri! You want to see your name in print. Stuff! I have 1 most of them T have found heart- ily sick of the tons of spoiled paper you fellows have left behind.” A GIVE-AWAY, Miss DeStaeck—" Mamma is inquiring for you in the library, papa. I know Count meupsky will excuse you for a moment. He can read that article himself.” Covwr (1) Commvvany (absent-mindedly and unguardedly as the uld gentleman rises)— Next" c week. The MSS. were torn up. With a start the young man awoke. Under the door was a letter offering a clerkship in a shoe-store at $9 a The blue devii had vanished. The poet was cured.