Judge — July 16, 1887 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

| LOV “ Tlove"— she whispered; blush and sigh The sweet words seemed to veri Her eyes on him complaisant heamed : His fondest hope—was it redeemed ? Her lips the dearest phrase had formed, And heart to beat at last had warmed + You love me? Raptur No!” A seream: . she cried, “1 meant ice. 4. A. waLpnos. No, no! cream ! HUM OF THE COURT. lamb with one head and two bodies would seem to be a long-felt want. A Calife designed to fil In the Hawai the people w hn language there is no word meaning weather ; so et have to sit silent and yawn, who eloped with a man left a note for her husband in which she said, ** I love you just the sani She probably did. Mrs. Langtry, who applies simultaneously for citizenship and a divorce, there onstrates that she is thoroughly acquainted with the customs of the country Jacob peculiarity tarp never drank anything stronger than milk, and this its him for the plain, simple beverage of Sing Sing prison. a thing this temperance is ! sylum with eight of his We live a man is found in a lunatic ribs broken they say it is owing to a of appropriations. to learn—h'm ! on second thought, to die. If there is any man who knows the difference between a cheap bonnet and an expensive one, putting a pretty face in either or both of them, he has become too worldly wise to be half happy It is good that the Lord should temper the mind tothe shorn lamb, but how often the jamb figures on the tempering and calls it evidence of his virtue and of the wickedness of the opposing winds. It is a correct theory of the Pittsburg Dispatch that the little girl who said flatly that she hated the 4th of July could never, never have gone to Sunday The young man at the picnic with a girl's hat on his head has school. MISUNDERSTOOD. "1 say, stranger, where be yer goin’? Don't yer know thet this be private Where am I goin’ + Well if that isn’t a pretty question to. ask ! Can't you see by my make-up that I'm an angler, and in search of the finny tribe Fararr—" 0, that’s all right. I tho't yer was goin’ a-fishin’ SHE CAUGHT ON. Hesnaxo—" Sarsaparilla*— (winking knowingly) Wirx—" Lemon ! without the wink !" finally come to be caricatured. Sweet is revenge. We have always ted that young man. So have all the boys excepting th largely because he won the favor of the latter in a wholly But he has had too much fun and he must suffer. girls, and proper way, A Kansas city clergyman gave a young man $4.50 wherewith to get the latter's girl to the matrimonial altar, and the absence of the ap- iate subsequent events shows again the perfidiousness of the female sex. They say that when his familiar friends ask the prince of Wales, “When do you begin your reign ?” he looks athim with much severity of optic and says * You go to the devil.” But they never do, and so they never find out. The New Orleans Picayune prefers the kind of educa doesn’t unfit a man for working fora living. That is to say, we sup. pose, it advocates the superior native intelligence which makes a man satisfied with hoeing corn and driving oxen. yn which Aman in a Hammondsport wine-cellar was handling the mer. chandize when a snake bit him through the thumb. There is lesson here. It is a little difficult to find out about it, however, because the man never drank a glass of wine in his life. The Buffalo Commercial hints that Bernhardt was so frightened by her sea-sickness on her return home that she will vever venture to it America again. What an idea ! The more the fright the greater her desire to frighten the ocean, and she will try it at every opportu: A contemporary asks, ‘* Who ever saw a stuttering woman 2” By Jove ! here's a discovery. Who ever did? We do remember one who mumbled, but she was 200 years old. There have doubtless been stut- tering females, but they have died as soon as they made the unhappy discovery. One who knew Secretary Fairchild at college says he “didn’t nave brains enough to puke.” We suspect the delicate purveyor of the in- formation of having the requisite amount for those exercises, and that he has exhibited his superior possession on every convenient occasion ever since. It is meet that the most beautiful woman should yearn to become an American citizen ; but there is no perfect satisfation, and it is bitter ness that the best American actress should have the same desire in be half of that pestiferons England. Still, the crops and the fishing are good. There is much in that. It is a habit of wags going to Canada to chalk the valises of dis- tinguished workingmen also going to Canada with the word ~* Bood: ler.” But the joke is profitable only to the victim ; because as soon as the word is noticed advices are telegraphed ahead, and the best society of the larger Canadian cities is at the several depots to receive its supposed boodler with open arms and give him unlimited hospi- tality. comicbooks.com