Judge — July 16, 1887 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Aiape: THE DEBUTANTE’S DIMPLE. rie YOUTH. I watch her cheek, [can but wateh it, The while her dimple comes and goes : _ Ab, happy he whose kiss might snatch it While from her lip sweet laughter flows; I'm sure there r Thrice hap * His heart, if but her dimple A pitfall hidden in a rose. Its pink audacity, its velve . , that’s harder far than any hatchet, Although’ but eighteen blooming years she has. As for your case, poor fool! she'd soon dispatch it ; Full heart and empty pockets let her pass. Learn this sad truth, deep on your mem- f dimples, fond young sae 8 MIDORS. TO THE ANTI-POVERTY SOCIETY. in) uniting ; to avoid being poor is to get rich as quickly as bacon. Lionel—** Mother father is one of C Mrs. O'Ce eligible The quickest ossible, You ‘can make fortunes very quickly by organizing societies in every town and village and passing the following resolutions: Resolved, That it is both inconvenient and unpleasant to be poor. Resolved, That itis a great mis- take to be poor. Resolved, That when a man is poor he is not rich. Resolved, That we are tired of being poor. Resolved, That we will be poor no longer. Resolved, That as we refuse any longer to be poor we must get rich Resolved, That the general puly- lic must be woke up to the profit gz poor. ills and speakers eep these sentiments con- stantly in agitation, Soon others will catch on and think just as you do A POOR BOARDER. ow many boarders have you ¥* LOGICAL. A physician rious ease toa | relating a cu Her grand- nt. said he, “last year in one of the Paris hospitals two old people were married, and this morning a son was born to them.” Bown, Mes. Gite money from wuu who has divil a cint ter pay.” of course. How old was the husband ¢” Sighty.” And the wife?” * Sixty-five.” * And the child ¢” asked the little girl. A WASTE OF GOOD MATERIAL. He was from Missouri and he stood looking igh telegraph poles in admiration said & policeman who was pass- a waste of good material,” “TH bet you we can wait here all day without seeing a single lynching.” When Gossip died her greatest pain Was that she ne'er could speak again WHAT HE COULD DO. He (protesting)—“ You surely cannot mean What vou say. Don't be so cruel. I will do any. Waxvenan (erctledly)—~ For heaven's sake, landlord: thine you say if T ean be assured of your regan irene driak of whisky. I've ben bit by rate Landlord pours out good sized dose, which wanderer Bs with evident satisfaction to himself and the snake Then leave me.” ne corner lots nati’s most respected bankers,” hk (pawing the air for h ens, Lionel! what are ‘Ownly mesilf, shure, an’ it’s moighty harrud wurrue getting ine board sweet powder and told him to take it b What did Bagley do? Why, take the powder according to a nickel OLD CHOCOLATE’S TARGET PRACTICE. Lub yo’ nabah, but lock yo’ hencoop. W'o ines ¢ Hiah a man by de day an’ keep yo! eyes peeled. De man w'at wucks stiddy am de one dat ‘joys holid: De hen wa er no. ares fo’ de moon w’en de sun n wudder she lays aigs De cook an’ de grocery boy am sel’om ene- mies. De deepah watah de biggah fish, ‘senshel ez a high am familiar wid yo’ ash- man he am laikly toe call yo" by yo" 1 Ne, 2. A, WALDRON THIS WAS TOO MUCH. Mrs, O'Cash of New York—* Lionel, you are paying altogether too much attention to that Miss Hummer of muati, It would displease both your father and me exceedingly if the cortingency arose which should result in Harlem to mere lard and you do the young lady an_ injustice. Her jugrette) —* Great heav- I command you to cut your relations with the— person immediately.” HE HAD HIM. Lushkins—"' My son, the men that pull back never get ahead.” Young Lushkins — ** You're wrong there, dad.” Lushkins—* D’ say ma " Young Lushkins—* Not ex. actly, but I guess you never saw an engine-driver pull his throt- tle.” you thinking of ¢ ou mean to NATURAL, Bagley was told by his physi- cian to take about as much of the s he could get on a powder was very. bitter, and Bagley measured it on a silver five-cent piece. Not seeing the desired result, the physician gave Bagley a the same measure, HE STILL NEEDED THE REMEDY. Laxptorp (nympathetically)—" Where did you get bit, up in Thompson's woods ¢ WANDERER ; Fight on the spot where this ‘ere hotel stands. Laxpuonp- twenty years WaAnberen- possible! This house was built here ‘Well, that's when I was bit, Good day.”*