Judge — July 9, 1887 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

wiapes FOURTH OF JULY FUN. AN AWFUL EXAMPLE FOR THE AMERICAN YOUTH. EN chubby fingers had that little son of mine. He shot a fire-cracker off and then there were but nine. Then he tampered with a pistol, and he had not long to wa Before the thing exploded and then he had but eight. Then he loaded up a cannon, for a ramrod used his finger, Of course but fingers seven upon his hands did linger. Engaging in the practising of military tricks, He reduced his stock of feelers to the small amount of six. Continuing in the slaughter, so splendid did he thrive That ‘twas not long before he had but chubby fingers five, ‘Then, not content with what he'd done, he went on as before, And aided by a musket soon possessed but fingers four. But four was much too many, thought this youngster carefully, So he sent a rocket in the air, and then there were but three. But soon he counted only two, and later ha And then that left him—after all, my boy but one, RESTAURANT LOGIC. After eating his dinner en't had any fish.” And no wonder, b cause there wasn't any; but monsieur asked for some all the same ENOUGH MYSTERIES. Syracuse girl (visiting 1 ew Jersey uncle) “Unele James, why do the men carry lanterns and clubs when th out nights?” Uncle James: mosquitoes are powerful in this section, Emeline, and we don’t want to be found dead any of these a bullet-hole New Jer sey has Lad enough mys THE HEIGHT. OF HEALTHINESS, teries fc “Is it healthy over there 2° ulthy tit > Be gobts, sur! it’s so healthy, pay ple git tolred ov livin’ ther only thing ts disapp' - Newcomen Parl sur, that w they kin dis IT WAS HIS LEGS AS CARRIED HIM OFF. banker's. Excuse me, my d Ue annoyed this me sent out one of my cle deposit of “Ah, Tse in his low fellow. You find me a lit- You see the fact is, I go to make a 1 don't have implicit confidence Xtremities.” MORE NECESSARY THAN LOVE. “Tove you,? he protested, ** better than my life. I would die for you if necessary. “Oh, nonsense!” replied the practic: tome that you will get up and ma I'll consider your proposition.” AN UNREASONABLE CUSTOMER. + Waiter, take away this beer : it's The waiter, without stirri . sir. Itis the glass which lent. Taste it.” s dirty; the beer is exc Awranan 1 I vill make a valual tineselluff for your iff me to boot * The bartender is the only man who knows how to treat you well. ble HIS IDEA OF THE GAME, Highy has sent his tennis set to the country a day abead of his arrival, Fanwen PILixatos—' "t see no use o them fans arter a little jump like this Them city folks can't be much on atbleticles. OLD CHOCOLATE'S TARGET PRACTICE. De prize cow doan’ allus hab a prize heife De findah ob a rusty A lie ull pl One haad wintal ain't no lesson toe a shif'less man. Lightnin’ nebbah struck house, an Ef yo wantah see a proud nig De sma’t n doar a claimant. + de av'rage pusson mo’ en de truf. * yit hit m ah, put ‘im a hossback. * man kin now an’ den ny dat bel nt fom a fool. ery, but doan’ brug ob it vpens de wit, dough hit doan’ bu'den de pocket. vo" in puttin’ yo" bes’ foot fo'wud dan yo" reelize. n offen lick a big one ef he be; W. Dar er aw eve in kna A small man s well wen de big un ain't mit Js a, WaLbnos. SO CONSOLING. Dr. X was very popular among his patients. *T suppose,” said some one to him, “it’s becanse you have so much , : 11,” was the reply, “but I make it a point whenever I am called to a patient to refer to some one else who is ever so much worse than he is. = Sa NOT THE KIND HE EXPECTED. * Fair exchange ia no robbery hus und if 1 eggchange nd Retivep wiuiosaine maopickeR—" Ob. it's th daughter Low much vill you yezixafther. Wall, here it ts, and yez is welcor comicbooks.com