Judge — April 2, 1887 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

When he rode by with plumes a-flying He threw a kiss to some one there; She blushed and said, ‘How can he dare my ¥ tobe r But she need not have | thus been sigh- ing. courted then another fair When he rode by with s plumes a-flying And threw a kiss to some one there, He "Twas in a window overlying, Up higher on the self-same stair, He saw his love, another fair, With smiles upon her red lips dying When he rode by with plumes a-flying And threw a kiss to some one there BRAINERD P. EMERY. ARITHMETICAL PROGRESSION. Sis’ Isabel Oldham is likely to become a chronic complainant at Walnut Grove church meeting. Lately she brought charges against Sis’ Mary Reay, whose investigation developed the following “De chu'ch knows I ain't no han’ to be des al’ays er quworlin’ an’ er quworlin’ an’ er ‘sturbence ‘mongst de Chrischens; but sence ole man Wilson, my husban’, he took ‘n’ tooked down wid de rheumatics, dough he k'yers er buck-eye in one pocket an’ er V'ish- tater in de yother one all de time cons'ant ‘cep'in’ when William, my son, gits hit out 'n roas’s hit, I ha’ ter go wash fer dat po’ white ooman over ter Dodd's, an’ I took’n took de | dawg—Fide ‘is name is—an’ tied him ter de bed-pos’ fer cump'ny fer Wilson; an’ when | come back I went ter make up smoke i smoke-'ouse, an’ dar wus de teacher, Si igger-heel dar, right plain in de mud at de do’, an’ she, as I hope to be saved by my sins, an’ de ham, one whole middlin’ er my meat, wus gone. An’ when I went ‘crost de in de xed her didn’t she tooked it, an’ try | ishes thus | Ma’ | ter make her ‘shamed erstealin’ fm achu'ch member dat way, she say I cain’t cownt. I never hed no mo’ | middlins an’ dem five whar coured outen de two hawgs we bought, but I know de reason whut make she say dat. She ain't forgot | de time I cotched her | stealin’ fore my chick- ens. "Twus den—dey wus eight ob dem— | great, big, fine, fat hens, went down ‘side her fence one mornin’, an’ when I call um | till while arter dey nuver but nine cum back. An’ den she cum wid dat boy o' hern, Walker, what fit de teacher at de las’ school, turn out an’ try ter make ten, like I donestole some- body else's chicken, | Deacox Wirre—“ Dere's sumfin ‘spicious "bout dat rooster. fust time in my chu’ch sperience dat I've seed one on a bar'l at dis time | o' night. Guess it’s dangerous ter tech it.” Tt is de e I didn’ know no mo’ ‘an dat. I did tought I'd go arter de law, but Wilson he say ‘twould maybe cos’ som fer er trial ‘fore de squire an’ ‘ligion wus free, art de preacher was paid, an’ dat middlin’s de ve'y one [ lays off ter gin ‘im when I finds hit.” Sis’ Mary was ordered to produce the mid- dling, or one like it, and once more “ order reigns in Warsaw.” CHEROKEE. ANEW WRINKLE OF SOCIETY. Mistress—James, how many stamps did you put on that letter that you took to the office?’ | Servant—'‘ Two, ma’am, usual.” | Mistress—“ Oh, dear! it was to the grocer. I'm dreadfully afraid the man will think he's on the same social footing with us, James, won't you run over to the grocer’s and exp! to him it was a m | “Tee,” remarked Cobwrigger, laying down | the paper, “that a young man has had his TAKING ADVANTAGE “Begorra! There's that sardine what axed me to foight last noight over at Tim's whin he knew had a pravious ingagement. Dommed ef I don’t thry him now.” Well, take that—an’ that !” OF CIRCUMSTANCES. “Yez wanted to foight wid me, ded yez? n riddy now. Pot up yer fists, and marriage annuled by pleading that he was drunk at the time the ceremony took place.” “Yes,” replied his better half, “and it's a pity that a woman couldn't get a divorce on the ground that her husband has been drunk ever since the ceremony.” OF MORE CONSEQUENCE. see my wife or something. And, I say, my dog is sick with a bad cold.” Doctor—*I'm no veterinary surgeon, man.” De Peyster—" Well. see what you can do for the dog, anyway.” WHAT DID SHE MEAN? Young Algernon—* Deary, you mustn't sy anything if you find my face a trifle rough to- night. I really hadn't time to wait my turn at the barber's this morning.” Miss Patience—“Certainly not, Algernon; but if you hadn't brought the subject up I prob- ably wouldn't have noticed it.” THE PARSON'S EXCUSE. The minister got mixed on the name of the deceased woman, and didn’t discover his mis- take until told of it after the funeral. “Well,” said he to the grief-stricken hus- band, * these affairs don’t always pass off as satisfactorily as they might.” “ONE WAY OF DOING f She wasa plain, out-spoken German woman, and one night when several callers staid longer than she thought necessary she said in a loud voice: “Christian, let's go to bed so that the folks can go home.” IT HAD ANCHORED HIM DOWN. Housekeeper—““Come, now! you" good dinner and you'd better move on Tramp—'That’s a nice thing to say toa man after that piece of mince pie e had a A woman is often called the weaker vessel. probably because she puts tea instead of icbooks.com