Judge — April 2, 1887 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE MULTIPLEX MAIDEN. (OF SMITH COLLEGE.) Upon a pictured, glowing page T meta pensive, cultured face, Struck off at girlhood’s golden age— A pretty puzzle, full of grace. A sweet spell lit her liquid eyes, mand unpassionateas the sphinx: | I like a girl who's sweet and wise, | And here's a lovely face that thinks. b) Gazing intent, the wonder grew ; S Wrought by the sorceries of art, Deep ravishment, before I knew, Swept like acyclone through my heart, Not Cleopatra's royal dower, ‘or proud >, with her 8 power, lern girl like this! Soon into rapturous dreams I fell, But when I turned to read the text— Great Jupiter! a miracle Uprose to make a saint perplexed. O sweet conglomerate (so to speak) Of pretty girls poured into one O complex creature, lovely freak, My soul by science is undone. I thought T stood before a gate Thrown open to an earthly heaven, Only, provoked, to tind my fate A sevenfold multiple of seven! Alas! what would it, must it be If one could capture wholesale charms ; Yet if a girl should love, ‘tis she Who wields a hundred circling arms! Still sits serene the portrait rare, Dispensing havoc through mv heart : O maid--or maids—say, was it fair To work with such deep-loaded art? Since, tossed and torn, we rise from one . Sweet pair of eyes to heights divine, Why multiply, from wit or fun, Your torture so, dear Forty-Nine? "AD INFINITUM. “Itam my opinion, Bruver White, dat de world nd in de air like a pin-wheel, but sets solid on a roc! * Ye—yes, dominie, dat may be, but what does dat rock set on?" what does dat one set on PoLicrMax— What did that old feller want?” CLERK— Box ‘r matches.” Pouicemas—* Why didn't yer gin ‘m to him?” CLeRK—“ Couldn't leave-pop. Y" see, I've hed him in this ‘ere coal-bin sence las’ night a waitin’ fer him ter sign pardnership papers. He's got ter sign, 'r Tl nail down th’ cover at twelve 2 ‘A WOMAN'S ARGUMENT, | prisoner hacked him to pieces,” cross “Woman the equal of man!" echoed | ¢xtmined the lawyer, "Now, while wi Suoaeetad che, | this was taking place how did you an is | s repr 4 | stand? inferior to her in every respec ” “How ils I—I stood aghast.” was the trem- How can you prove it?” asked an | 5 ot interested old. bachelor. | Sng. ren") “Why, by his stoc laughing reply; ‘he hose. SECOND TO NONE. “T notice,” n English- country, “that your aristocracy don’t have an, divorce cases that can compare with ‘Il vou bring me a glass of | those in the old country.” TTT you being me a a a ee ee: “Tess interstate com. | the only time we ean get ahead of you |in that respect is when one of our isters NO FAVORS ALLOWED. Congressman (in sleeping -car) — “* Porte water? Porter —“ ‘Gainst merce rules. sah.” NO WONDER. A hungry tramp is satisfied with anything the farmer can spare, but he prefers & spare rib, he murdered man was leaning against the fence when the COVETED REST. I wish I could find some hole in the ground That man never saw and beast never found, Where no living creature e’er breathed of the air, I would rest my old bones just twenty years there ; And when I awoke from this sleep of the soul I would not go away without taking the hole. ~Bruver White, doan’t as’ sich jackassical qu teks all de way down, fo’ shuah J. MURRAY CASE, icbooks.com