Judge, 1887-04-02 · page 7 of 18
Judge — April 2, 1887 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains several satirical pieces reflecting turn-of-the-century social attitudes: **"The Multiplex Maiden" (top left):** A poem mocking women's education at Smith College. The speaker becomes infatuated with a portrait of a beautiful girl, only to discover she represents multiple women—"a sevenfold multiple of seven." The satire suggests that educated women are so intellectually complex or "modern" they're incomprehensible to men; the joke plays on anxieties about women's colleges producing women who don't fit traditional romantic ideals. **"The Boom of Trade in Harlem" (top right):** A sketch depicting a street vendor or peddler with customers. The dialogue references "partnership papers," suggesting commentary on business or labor practices. **Lower sections:** Brief satirical quips about gender equality ("Woman the equal of man"), class differences ("Second to None"), and social absurdities. The "Ad Infinitum" piece uses circular logic for humor. Overall, the page reflects Gilded Age anxieties about women's education, social change, and class distinctions, using humor to reinforce traditional hierarchies.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE MULTIPLEX MAIDEN. (OF SMITH COLLEGE.) Upon a pictured, glowing page T meta pensive, cultured face, Struck off at girlhood’s golden age— A pretty puzzle, full of grace. A sweet spell lit her liquid eyes, mand unpassionateas the sphinx: | I like a girl who's sweet and wise, | And here's a lovely face that thinks. b) Gazing intent, the wonder grew ; S Wrought by the sorceries of art, Deep ravishment, before I knew, Swept like acyclone through my heart, Not Cleopatra's royal dower, ‘or proud >, with her 8 power, lern girl like this! Soon into rapturous dreams I fell, But when I turned to read the text— Great Jupiter! a miracle Uprose to make a saint perplexed. O sweet conglomerate (so to speak) Of pretty girls poured into one O complex creature, lovely freak, My soul by science is undone. I thought T stood before a gate Thrown open to an earthly heaven, Only, provoked, to tind my fate A sevenfold multiple of seven! Alas! what would it, must it be If one could capture wholesale charms ; Yet if a girl should love, ‘tis she Who wields a hundred circling arms! Still sits serene the portrait rare, Dispensing havoc through mv heart : O maid--or maids—say, was it fair To work with such deep-loaded art? Since, tossed and torn, we rise from one . Sweet pair of eyes to heights divine, Why multiply, from wit or fun, Your torture so, dear Forty-Nine? "AD INFINITUM. “Itam my opinion, Bruver White, dat de world nd in de air like a pin-wheel, but sets solid on a roc! * Ye—yes, dominie, dat may be, but what does dat rock set on?" what does dat one set on PoLicrMax— What did that old feller want?” CLERK— Box ‘r matches.” Pouicemas—* Why didn't yer gin ‘m to him?” CLeRK—“ Couldn't leave-pop. Y" see, I've hed him in this ‘ere coal-bin sence las’ night a waitin’ fer him ter sign pardnership papers. He's got ter sign, 'r Tl nail down th’ cover at twelve 2 ‘A WOMAN'S ARGUMENT, | prisoner hacked him to pieces,” cross “Woman the equal of man!" echoed | ¢xtmined the lawyer, "Now, while wi Suoaeetad che, | this was taking place how did you an is | s repr 4 | stand? inferior to her in every respec ” “How ils I—I stood aghast.” was the trem- How can you prove it?” asked an | 5 ot interested old. bachelor. | Sng. ren") “Why, by his stoc laughing reply; ‘he hose. SECOND TO NONE. “T notice,” n English- country, “that your aristocracy don’t have an, divorce cases that can compare with ‘Il vou bring me a glass of | those in the old country.” TTT you being me a a a ee ee: “Tess interstate com. | the only time we ean get ahead of you |in that respect is when one of our isters NO FAVORS ALLOWED. Congressman (in sleeping -car) — “* Porte water? Porter —“ ‘Gainst merce rules. sah.” NO WONDER. A hungry tramp is satisfied with anything the farmer can spare, but he prefers & spare rib, he murdered man was leaning against the fence when the COVETED REST. I wish I could find some hole in the ground That man never saw and beast never found, Where no living creature e’er breathed of the air, I would rest my old bones just twenty years there ; And when I awoke from this sleep of the soul I would not go away without taking the hole. ~Bruver White, doan’t as’ sich jackassical qu teks all de way down, fo’ shuah J. MURRAY CASE, icbooks.com