Judge, 1887-02-05 · page 4 of 16
Judge — February 5, 1887 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
# Judge Magazine Page Analysis This page contains several brief satirical items mocking contemporary figures and social foibles, plus two illustrated cartoons. **Top cartoon ("A Narrow Escape")**: De Jones plans to marry Miss Marie Mimosa, but Slimkins warns he previously lost $1,500 to her in a breach-of-promise suit—suggesting she's a serial litigant who seduces men for financial gain. The joke is De Jones is walking into an obvious trap. **Various brief items** mock: - Roscoe Conkling (politician threatened by someone named Frank Blair) - Buffalo and Detroit newspaper editors - A woman who sat in a champagne cooler at a French ball - "Clara Belle" (likely an actress/performer) for falsely claiming newness - A woman named Miss Van Zandt prevented from marrying "Anarchist Spies" **Bottom cartoon ("Off the Banks")**: An elderly immigrant asks a ship's steward to draw on his letter of credit when the ship passes banks, misunderstanding "banks" (financial institutions) for land masses visible from the ocean. The humor relies on wordplay, social commentary about fraud and pretense, and immigrant confusion.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A NARROW ESCAPE StimKixs—“ T understand you are going to get married.” De Joxes—* Yes, to a most charming girl; Miss Marie Mimosa,” SLIMKINS— yosa! won $1,500 of me for damages in a breach of promise suit.” De. Joxes—" Guess you're right. I know she said she expected that amount from a relative she lost lately.” Mui of the Court. “The Crocodile,” having ure, perhaps those who have tears to shed had better do it now. We de threatened to cut off Roscoe Conkling’s ears; because, you know, Frank died a natural death, Sardou's pla; been a complete fa t believe the story that Frank Blair An exchange tells how best to chloroform a lon. The only proper way that we know of is to get on a fleet horse and let the lion chloro- | form himself. The Detroit Free Press says the people of Michigan have heard in a vague, uncertain way of George Washington. We really shouldn't have expected it “Clara Belle” talks largely of newness.” Dear child, when you get to bea man don't put your entire trust in that girl. They say she is not as new as she see the girl of The editor of the Buffalo Express says the editor of the JuDGE once lived in Erie county. Well, God help him! that is so; but there be who never got away from not justly used. We saw the are ready to make affidavit that she high as anybody could reasonably The lady at the French ball who seated herself in a champagne cooler would have done better not to incur the necessity of this wise action, Still, we do not care to be captious. Mr. McQuade is such an expert laundryman Why that’s the young woman who just | that he is more and more astonished because he wasn’t born in China. It > is a little late, but the | gentleman might move | for a reconsideration. The editor of the Sar- atoga Journal says he did not teach John Mor- rissey how to play poker. | These subterfuges are | very depressing. We | didn’t mention John Morrissey at all. We said | Charles A. Dana. | The Albany Argus | suggests that the crimi- nal be talked to death. | We submit that it he survives the efforts of his lawyers and the oppo- sition in that direction it would be no more | than fair to let him live. | We know of few who are entitled to the slight | pain and the long con- valescing which belong toa sprained ankle; but | there should be no child's play in order to bring it about, Mr. George W. of Philadelphia, It is a great pity th: Miss Van Zandt was not permitted to marry An- archist Spies. In that) OFF THE OLD CorxroppeR (on his first ocean trip)— Say, steward! Thearn th’ cap'n say as how 6 be off th’ banks this afternoon, an’ seein’ as how I’m pooty near ‘ busted,’ I'd like to draw 00 y letter 0’ credit ; so when any of them air banks heave in sight let me know, case the gentleman would have got his Pun. ishment regardless of the court, and we cany be too sure about these things. The later novels of Zola are said to bean im. provement on his older ones. We conclude not that there has been a change in the literary morality of his admirers, but that he has » much money he doesn't know what todo with it. It is not entirely certain that Mr Cluverius, the deceased murderer, took along with him the motto, worked in silk, ‘ Heaven is thine? but if he did he must have got the impressitn before this that the first word has too many letters in it, This year the debutante is principally known asa bud; but if you were to call her that while she is contemplating her first train, meap- while touching her chin with her open fan, she would sn you dead with the iarge scorn and distention of the developed rose of next June. When a fat young woman like the Chicago Van Zandt fixes her arms about a man he's got about as far in the direction of retribution as he can easily go. She'll never let loose ex cept through absolute violence, and a may worth being hugged would sooner die than resort to that. We recall a paragraph in the Dansville Advertiser which questioned the JupGe's pre diction that Frank Hiscock would be the next senator. It will be remembered that the JvDGE placed Mr. Hiscock slightly in the rear with the proposition fairly understood that the last would necessarily be first in due season. It is very cold weather in Livingston county at this time of y BANKS. how weld