Judge — February 5, 1887 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

3 tar ob de Lor’? jot to speak de dead langwidges shua.” scribed for that peculiari y at funerals that is not conducive to enjoyment. Then, too, there are so many who die out of the season and totally without style; and furthermore there is the ab- sence of on the part of the attending es one to refuse them recogni- tion until they have more firmly established themselves, Tur New man H. Davis, shows in an able paper that Shakespeare was a lawyer. And indeed he was. He wasalsoa clergyman, a physician, a philosopher, a mechanic, an artisan, a prince, and at the same time a tramp and a beggar. But these are not discoveries, senator, Verily the facts were known long before William died. FIGURES MUST NOT LIB. Itis well enough for Sorosis to say it is only nineteen years old. Few people are given to Statistics, and sometimes it is irksome to tax the Many a record of birth has been sur- sly changed, and there are ladies who have been with this organization since it began. The writer is notabsolutely correct as to dates; Sorosis with the arrival of the Agamemnon, which brought the first cable; With the campaign of Fremont and Jessie; with the hanging of John Brown and that of Filibuster Walker; with the anni! ilation of the Know-nothing party, and the celebrating | of Gail Hamilton's seventieth birthday by the Atlantic Monthly. AN of these great events Sreepting the last preceded the civil war; and rs. President Thomas will put that import: and there is apt to | TOR from Minnesota, Cush: | ant fact in her pipe and smoke it if she isn’t afraid of hurting the lace curtains. THE INSULTS TO THE FLAG. A policy at Washington at last! and that it is a popular one is shown by the fact that the Republican senate is for it to a man—for Rid- dleberger is of no consequence—the house is for it, and the administration is for it. The bully of the nations is to be brought to book, and those impudent Canadians must pay dam- ages to the American fishermen they have rob- bed, apologize in good set terms to the goverit™ ment they have insulted, and promise good behavior for the future. That is the pol and it has the amplest indorsement of every good man and woman in the United States. —And as to Mexico? THE RULER WITH 4 REVOLVER. The private detective must not assume too much, After all, he is not authorized to kill, as the policeman may be in extremely urgent | cases ; and after all it is not just or legal to kill men off-hand and without a formal trial, whether the shooter bea detective, a police- man, or any kind of gentleman of the law and the amenities. Gently, good officials. There are several individuals of your kind in the penitentiary and others of them have been hanged, and there may come a titye when there will have to be a society for the protecti of citizens against those who are paid to com- mand the public peace. THE RUDE, UNBRIDLED TRAIN-ROBBER. The leading man in the last train robbery in Texas had, it issaid, ‘an earnest countenance,” and gave his ordersin “a bold, animated tone.” That is the trouble with all those fellows. It is also their business. If they would gener- ously consent to employ timidity in face and voice there wouldn't be so many disagreeable surprises for the passengers. The latter might, thus encouraged, assume the earnestness and the animation themselves. The train-robber must learn to be more courteous, more deferential, more thoughtful of the welfare of others; other- wise the traveling public will be made up directly principally of individuals who ought never to travel without a guardian. WHERE SHALL WE DRAW THE LINE? Politics have nothing directly to do with the little disturbance between his holiness and Dr. McGlynn. It is the labor question and several of the innumerable social questions that are involved in it. They, however, are immediately interested in thesward and the larger polities of the city and state and nation, and the various political organizations propose to profit from them as far as they can. It is frequently remarked that the church must not meddle with the state. Let us promulgate the proposition that the state must not meddle with the church, Where then shall we draw the line? Heaven save us, good interrogator! would you hav us write columns with the old and inevitable conclusion of reaching no point at all ? NOT AN INVITING EXIIBITION, The JupoE will not encourage the mug- wump ballet. It is certainly harmless from every point of view: but if there is to be ab let—and heaven forbid that the most inviting part of the human family should scrupulously hide itself from the public view- grace of motion and flesh, poetry of mov: ment, devoutness of legitimatepurpose, an airiness of action and costume to soine sli; extent, This mugwump balletis simply smirk, eye-glass and bone, where it doesn’t happen to be grossness of exhibition, angularity of shank, awkwardness of pose, and protuberance of car- buncle; and the generous but discriminating public feels to say as it looks upon it, with the repentant elder who had seen the extren! woman of the dime museum, ‘ Take me aw I want to go home and be a Christian.” THE WAY IT BEGAN, tance of Eve Look here! his first remark There will inevitably be children and we will name one of them Dawes.” “Wherefore ¢” said the good lady, uncon- sciously thrusting out a heel to arrange an imaginary train, and fanning herself with an apple-blossom. “Dawes,” replied Adam, tickling his ear in a musing way, “ will be taught to be fierce and tantalizing and unforgiving; and there must be another boy, who shall be good-hearted. ” “The which,” replied Eve, involuntarily searching for her uninvented bustle, ‘amuses me of a sufficiency; but I would know the reason therefor.” “Do you not see t” was the impatient an. swer. ‘Prithee exercise your intelligence. Tho patient lad shall be greatly annoyed by Dawes and then we shall have the requisite opportunity to protest unto him, * Now, now, child ! do not wear your heart upon your sleeve for Dawes to peck at.’” And then the pair, baving sprung the open- ing joke upon the impending centuries, wrapped themsely bout the middle with a pre World and sat them down to lunch,