Judge — February 5, 1887 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK. President ~ = = = = = = W. J. Ameri. Vioe-Dveaident = = = = = = = Art Department = = + = = Blitor ~ Bensiako Grae soe oe : 1M. Guxooay TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS UNITED STATES AND CANADA. One cops, one y One cop THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY, POTTER BUILDING, Park Row, New York, IF IT ALWAYS AFFECTS Abram Hewittin that | way another victory would kill him. Tuere 1s THAT IN Jimmy Hustep which no man can predict, and if he did he might be sorry for it. Mr. Situ M. Weep didn’t expect to go to Washington; wherefore he flourishes and will grow up with the flowers of spring. SOROSIS 18 NINETEEN years old, but there is not one of the members who joined it in the beginning who looks it, It seems odd. y sad thing about Sorosis. it the requisite oppor ned how to run a hotel, THERE 18 ONE vel Hilton once ga Miss Vay Zaxpt, who wanted to marry Spies, having gone to Rome with her ma, will perhaps find it profitzble to go through the rest of the performance. “TRUTH, NOT POETRY, is what we are aiming says the Tribune. In other wonds, the Tribune would like to shoot the truth, Well, bor for its pains, Where is the ideal wife?” really anxious in the premises all he has todo is to find the ideal husband, it being a habit of the two to travel very much together. THE FIVE FIN CoAT that 8. J. Tilden left are wanted b; least a dozen Democratic leaders who would have to be advertised as strayed or stolen the moment they got into them, ‘Ts OF Mr. Bi stag proposed to s many was Ger autocrat will sho marek. Tue oppo! dissolved ARCK in the ow that Ger- but presently the grizzled them that Germany is Bis- THE TORSHIP THIS YEAR, according to the Rochester Herald, stopped off at Syracuse. That's too bad. The main purpose of stopping off at Syracuse is in most instances to get in- toxicated and miss the next train. Ir 18 TO BE ORSERVED that the Democratic admirers of Mr. Conkling tiave suddenls their devotional adjectives ; but they have made their choice and the JuDGE will see to it that they run the gentleman for president. Conaressman Grout of Vermont has intro- duced a bill to enable the people to select their own postmasters. Now that we have a Demo- cratic admimstration—if we may be permitted to be a little more frank than Congressman Grout is—it is an excellent idea. Tue DEMOCRATS OF THE HOUSE cannot be in- duced to touch the tariff with a pole of the reg- ulation length for such experiments. What a pitiful set of cowards they are! Let them catch a glimpse of the shadows cast by their own ears and they will perish of fright. AT LAST ACCOUNTS, according to the Courier- Journal, the star-eyed goddess, spy-glass in hand, was wandering around the government departments, looking for an honest Democrat. Poor girl! The kind of glass she wants for that kind of discovery is not a spy-glass. Epwin Cow es of the Cleveland Leader has concluded to support Rober: Lincoln for president in 1888. Robert is a good boy and his time will come in due season; but if he has won his spurs he is so little accustomed to that he wears them on the toes of his Locksley Hall” argues that the world has retrograded, and ex- presses the utmost contempt for the doctrine of human equality. We don’t know what Alfred has been doing, but if he might bring back his old innocence he would greatly benefit his old eyesight, THE DEATH OF OLD MR. Pane, miser and millionaire, isa lesson for the careless which should be heeded. Persons having packages of from a hundred thousand to half a million dollars will send them to us at once. We put them in their charge and afterward forgot them. They will remember the several occur. rences. Ah what a careless, careless world itis! PENSION THEM ALL. It is proposed by a Massachusetts legislator to pension a Massachusetts poet. The idea is an excellent one, and is incidentally a demand for the rights of states and smaller locali- ties in the matter of literature. One of our sweetest obituary poets, for instance, is a Mrs. Rogers of Tonawanda, Pa., and if the board of trustees of that village do not immediately pension her they ought to be denied the privi- lege of formal departure as long as they live. THE COMPANY It is complained that fashionable ladies in Washington do not attend the funerals of their fashionable companions. Doubtless, however, the deceased are to blame for that, ‘They do not perish according to the forms pre- 18 MISCELLANEOL’. NOT SO GREEN. CountrYMaN (examining a watch)—“ Gosh, what luck ! I've found a gold watch.” Crry sHarp—*‘ Ah well, its mine. Here are five dollars for a reward.” RYMAN (ashe walks off)—* That's a good game. I'll dispose of all those brass watches