Judge — January 22, 1887 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

wae: A DUMP-LING. Shorten your life's laborions miles With the contracting power Let content, with its sunshine Hours of comfort and jo; How they furrow the soul and face, jerky pace, ‘ase the mind, Crack our jo: iF mournful grind ! nouxh are the needful bumps, ver indulge in the doleful dumps. Sickness, sorrow, and hours of pain Come a season and go again Mulligrubs and the imps of amper off from a joys Glooms and horrors in darkness clumps Shade the swamps of the doleful dumbs. Ny Glad consent and a blithesome Whirl them off like a cloud of ¢ Kindly words and a patient gra e them far into viewless spa Better the m mps and mumps Than the mildest form of the doleful dumps. les, Waste no strength in a lifelong grow], Place no faith in a holy how Trust in € ha soul at Let your songs and smiles inc Dodge the devils and flank the stumps— Choose the levels and shun the lumps — er give way to the doleful dumps. 1, EDGAR JONES, ‘SHADOWS IN REAL LIFE. 1 “Well, Bill, I have just paid my cigar bill, and what do you suppose it amounted to?” “I t theslightest idea, old fellow. Give us a hint. “Well, itamounted to just one hundred and twenty dollars.” 9 “My dear, I would like very much to have ten dollars. I wish to buy me a new wrap.” “Ten dollars ? Why, woman ! do you think Tam made of money ? Ten dollars for a wrap t Why it is too extravagant, too extravagant.” AN OLD HORSE AND HISTRADER. Below 1s a topographical survey and pro- jection of an old horse. A key goes with t work of art showing the diseases located at dif- ferent parts of his system. The key is in four — volumes and will be issued as rapidly as the neans of the author and the supply of paper willadmit. You vill observe that one horse ill not supply surface enough to illustrate all the ills t horse-tlesh has fallen heir to, and ing this frame with numbers and alphabets I thought of taking a fresh horse, but desisted for fear some one would think it took two horses to have all these diseases. But it dcesn’t. [have been trading horses and know one horse can have all these diseases and not be much of a horse either. There is another side to this horse which you do not see. A friend of mine who is interested in transporation on the al, and who is ubove veracity, tells me tha when the horses shrink in July and August he hasseen the tow path littered with ring-bones, spavins, splints, puffs, and other ornani which could not find roc to locate on the horses. an oldman but I never 1 of that before. In ce rural neighborhoods of this empirical state, trading old horses has become a fine art. Why old horses more than any other domestic animal should thus becomea medium of exchange no one knows. Or why the old horse, like mutilated curreacy, should not be retired from circula- tion after a time remains a dark mystery; but as long as a horse can eat oats and draw abuckboard wagon he seems to be a legal tender for all sums under ten dollars. There is a village in Otsego county where the voting population in summer put sugar on the ar and catch flies for the drinks, and in winter they will keep things lively with an old horse,a shotgun and a y appear to make money and have the old horse, shotgun and fiddle left in the spring. There stringency in the money mar- Ket unless the old horse dies or fiddle is carried out of the village. There is an idea here h ought to be worked up into a financial article when is never a night.” | but it is too deep for me. | him once or twice and that was all. | to fade away like the glories of our Ulster we attribute hard times torsilver ort ukering with the tariff or change of admin: T admire th trader. Th admires the scientific skill which takes out his works, scrapes them and replaces them with deft hand. I have been trading horses. You have perhaps admired the skillful splitting ofa ten-dollar note or the smooth plug; of a dime. Itis nothing to the deft and scientife fixing up for market of the obsolete steed, | wanted a safe, cheap, reliable old horse. One that would stay where I put him, and not be afraid of the carsor bicyles or book agents. Ina week I had seen over forty just such horses and “ out of the wealth of beauty I selected one, They said he was good, for every trader in three counties had had him and he still passed. | wish to remark here, not in bitterness, that it was the only way he ever passed anytl He seemed county sunset. My stable was unhealthy or something did not agree with him, for ina month he developed every affection end die e of the equine race. One leg swelled so that it occupied the whole of one end of the stall. His breath became portentious and loud, and adisrespectful youth suggested selling himtoa blast furnace. When he laid down he removed both sides of the stall so as to have room toe. joy himself. He was notan early riser, and | had to call in four men to get him up. Inthe beautiful language of Wolfe.a favorite of min “We buried him darkly at dead of ni; and then and then only he filled one want mine, for he stayed where I put him. Some one of the sporting fraternity at the hotel A GOOD CRITERION. Crmzex—* Terrible cold to-night, ain't it?” . Poticeman—" Yes, sir; it's so cold I haven't slept a wink t comicbooks.com