Judge — January 22, 1887 — page 7: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

to A DIFFERENT CUE. At midnight returning, The gas dimly burning, Gives he excuses. Which are mere ruses. Alas! the dear creatures Develop strange features, No girl can discover A flaw in her lover. Life isa May day Heart is a hey-day, Weaves dreams entrancing, His charms enhancing. But after a season Of blissful unreason, Honeymoon raptures, Cold reason captures Heart wholly trusting, Doubts in it thrusting. Before they were married How long he had tarried, Loth then to leave her ! How can he grieve her Afterwards, leaving her, Basely deceiving her? Like an Othello, Poor, jealous fellow ! eo 8 © ee Her wish was the cue To what he should do. Between me and you, To tell you plain facts, He still takes his cue Her will ruled his acts When he was courting, Himself deporting He chalks the tip end. M. A. CHILDS, used an expression which I have heard is used in gambling. He said it was “one horse on me.” He was right. The trader becomes attached to the mutilated steed, the plugged dollar, or the dollar plug, so to speak. He can not understand a sound horse. A friend of mine on Long Island who had reveled in ring-bones, sported in spavins, and played with puffs all his life, was made happ by being remembered in the will of a rich uncle. The uncle, knowing his horse ure, left him a magnificent sound, young horse. My friend looked it over, felt of its legs, tried its wind, and then sat down and ened, ~ Why this sadness?” said the executor. “I wish I could get him broke,” said the weeping nephew. “Why, he is broken perfectly, to harness or saddle,” replied the as- tounded executor. “You do not get my meaning,” said my trading friend. “I would et him broke. Get small bills for him. Now if I only had five nistead of one good horse I could be happy,” and he sobbed Boy— fay, cully, 'f we'd a saw you a comin’ we'd a give you that tag. ‘Twouldn't a took so long ter work. He'll be till night filling up.” convulsively. A sound horse was something he had never seen before and it broke him all up, as the sight of the Mississippi held De Soto in awe-stricken silence, The vouchers for this instructive incident are in the archives at Albany, and thus does habit make cowards of us all. THE OLD PROFESSOR. MR, GRAB'S PHILOSOPHY. I notice that a egotist is allus some other feller. We kin git a heap of information from a animal. Nobody never see a dorg tryin’ ter chaw two bones ter oncet. Ther’s many a man as has got a college edication thet goes through life without findin’ out how ter invest it. That makes me think thet cursin’ don't pay. I never knowed any- one but Bob Ingersoll ter git a livin doin’ it. I never seen a cheese so rank thet somebody wouldn't eat it, ’n I never seen a job so mean thet somebody wouldn't do it. Therain’t nothin’ likediscreetion. I'da heap sight sooner hev afifty dollar nag than a ten thousand dollarone ef I was goin’ ter plough. I’ve heard lots of folks tell thet the world owed them a livin’, but I hain’t never heard that they got any lawyer ter collect the bill on shares. ‘Thers a good many men in this here world thet’s like cider—sweet when yer fust meet ‘em, but the longer yer know ’em the harder they git. Ef a man ‘lows ter me thet he's turned over a new leaf, I'll bet my yoke of brindle steers thet nine times outer'ten it'll read a durn sight wus than the tother. Ef I hear some feller allus braggin’ about his ancestors, I ginerally make up’ my mind that ef them ancestors was livin’ they couldn't do Otp Fatuer Trte—“ You can't get the best of me, and might as well | much braggin’ about him. surrender unconditionally and gracefully.” L. R, CATLIN, comicbooks.com