Judge — January 22, 1887 — page 5: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Sages 1 IS COMPANY, 8 1S A CROWD. ‘Tis atine-honored saying whose truth is allowed That two is good company, three is a crowd naught could tocontrary make me be! L thou; as I chatted with Lucy that ev nverse had varied from subjects pedantic is more usual, subjects romantic, When a rosy faced urchin, as if to shagreen us, Most artfully settled himself there between us. But the strange thing was this, instead of dismiss- natural instincts led rather to kissing him; For he who had artfully wriggled between us Was Cupid—who bore us dispatches from Venus AFFORD WATERS. UTTLE POINTERS, Misfortune comes not without a blessing. The bankrupt is never asked to lend. The ways of the stock market and men are often contrary. When shares go down brokers yo up. When a girl becomes indifferent to her lover nothing makes her realize her foolish- ness so keenly as to hear a female friend eulo- gize him. A tippler is an unfathomable paradox. He takes four fingers of whisky to warm his body and then drinks a glass of ice-water. In England a woman is a lady by reason of noble ancestry or marriage. In this country any humble woman can be a lady by proper conduct. Affliction is a boon to some. The deaf and dumb man is never disturbed by the discord ant piano in the adjoining room, and the blind an sees not the world’s wickedness. Women can never be satisfied. Miss Blood angled for and caught a nobleman. When she could no longer agree with Lord Colin Campbell she declared there were a dozen whom she liked better than her husband. ER. RIALE. | HOW HE GOT THEM. Jones—'I say, Nibbs, did you get any points when you visited the stock exchange the other | day 2” Nibbs— You can just bet Idid ! [sat ona | paper of pins.” ns, A TIGHT SQUEEZE. STRONG-MINDED FFMALE—“ If there is a gentleman in this car he will offer me a seat.” Lire Intsiman—“ Yez be wilcome to moine, mum, if yez will pull me out.” | Doth make us pause. | The insolent i} asked TO BUY. Solilo u Over a Seit of Last Year’s Clothes. © buy or not to buy, that is the question. Whether ‘tis ea- sier for achap to suffer The sneers and insults of fas- tidious friends Or make a loan from some philanthropist And by a pur- chase end the To make a loan, . No more and with the cash to try and end The anguish and the thousand nameless woes Old clothes are heir to! ‘Tis a transformation Devoutly to be wished, To give one’s note, One's note, perchance three months, there's the rub, For with that I. O. U, what pangs may come When to most certain protest it hath gone There's the secret Of our content to wear this napless garb. For who would bear the pouts and The clubman’s frown, the millior The airs of hotel clerks, the TO BUY OR NOT ire’s cold nod, not at homes,” of flunkies, and the cuts That seedy n from well-dressed neighbor takes: mi | When he might go to any tailor shop And end his agony bear, To shiver “neath this too thin overeoat, But that the dread of summons and complaint — That inauspicious mandate from whose spell No suitor goes scot-free—befogs the mind And makes us rather wear the clothes we have Who would these miseries sers |1s sprinkled o'er with signs of wear and tear, And invitations to the swellest homes, For this poor cause, are tossed aside, to lie Unopened on the table. Lock woop. EASILY FOUND. “Do you know what has become of that re- ion of yours who used to work for me?” gentlemar: of an Irish laborer. er honor; butif yez is anxious to see him, Oi'll wroite to him an’ ax him to sind me his addriss.” Le FUNNY THINGS WE SEE. There's the dude with the striped hose, The cowboy from out of the west ; The widow with the freckled noze And the man with the velvet vest ; The girl with an opera hat And the dame with a yellow mole; The maiden old with a pet tom And the fool with a finger bowl ; The girl with a pink parasol, The kid witha wart on his j: ‘The chap who was born with a caul And the man with a mother-in-law ; The clerk ) a mouthful of gum And the m with cotton in ear; The tough with a bottle of ram. And the sport who never drinks beer ; ‘The pig that can climb upa tree, The crank who can fly to the sun; Are some of the things you will see When you're sure not to have any gun. WILL, M. CLEMENS,