Judge — January 22, 1887 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

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If Mr. Tennyson had known that he wouldn't have found things so verv discouraging after all. They tell of a woman in Factory- ville, N. Y., who attended six hun- dred funers there was only one which she didn’t thoroughly enjoy—the one in which she offi- ciated as the corpse. ar says he postponed i ar because the pa- pers got to tal about it. Sensi- tive creature! Very likely he will try to postpone his funeral in the Johnny Blossom of Harrodsburg, as swallowed sixteen cents in | pennies and th nt pieces at va-| rious times, and hopes to have} Main ae the Court. If you ever want to find Jimmy Husted just consult the hands of his friends. It was found on iny Battenberg was born witha crown on its head, | just like the other babie ral persons are still living. ‘This shows body didn’t do railroad traveling on the first week of the year. When a lady bets her bonnet against your er you want toadd a couple of stories to the ter to make the odds even, We really don’t know whether Mrs. Potter |; is going on the stage, but it is high time she went out of the newspapers. Do you want the best of advice? Look out for your friends. As for your enemies, you al- ways know where to find them. “Shall we say of Miss Blank that she is an ~' actor, or Inasmuch actress: asks an exchange. she isn’t, why it? “Here is a story said to be a true one,” the Troy Times. pe says Well, if it is it makes its ap- nee in deuced strange company. We trust it is true, as stated, that “Ouida” and ‘Clara Belle” have never met. Both would unavoidedly and with good reason be a enough presently to be recognized by the state bank department. The scientific journal that tells how to pre- serve stovepipe neglects to mention the main danger—-the man prowling around in a fit of | bstraction who is looking for an elbow aud a jcouple of lengths. About this time of year George Washington began to discuss the question whether he had better be born, and as he learned that Mr. Cornwallis had that intention the answer was in the aftirmative. Adelaide Proctor asks if we have not all some pure ideal of noble life. Certainly ; but there ith awkwardness—whenever we want to put, ical use it is found that the servants loaned it to the neighbors. | The Buffalo Express locates the editor of the Saratoga Journal in Tattletown. It does no harm to give the — te give Colonel Ritchie his due; and we have no hesitation in saying, ever resorts he may frequent when he ts Schenectady and other metropclitan centres, that he was never in Eriecounty in his life. ‘The queen saw Baby Battenberg before it got its clotheson, ‘* Vich I’ad ‘oped,” she said, with a transient air of indignant astonishment, ‘as it vould be a himprovement on the hordinary clay, but ‘Enery his so huncommingly hordi- nary ‘isself!” But when the baby opened its eyes Jat her she took it to her capacious breast and squeezed it, remarking between sobs that it was the perfectest baby that was ever born. It is alleged that more people read the pr ceedings in the Campbell divorce case than read Mr. Tennyson's poem. This does not showany ack of the proper kind of culture. It merely indicates that there is just as much human nature as there was sixty years ago and as there will be sixty years to come. The Buffalo Express holds that there ought to be no single-track railroad except in sparsely. settled territory. If every road had nine tracks the disposition to invite accident by taking risks would be exactly as prevalent. wanted here below is not so much si | roads and things of that kind as a little hang- ing and a new kind of human nature. HIS GENEROSITY. Some time since the wife of a prominent citizen of New York city was trying to instill in the mind of her five-year-old son what it meant to be generous, thus: ‘Now, Willie dear, suppose mamma should give you a cake and tell you to give part of it to Harry, and when you divided it one piece was larger than the other; if you gave it to him that would be generous, but if you kept it for yourself that would be selfish. understand 7” The little fellow thought he did. The next afternoon, wishing to test the effect of her teaching, she gave Willie a large, juicy orange, “Now, W ‘ile, take this orange and divideit generously When to her surprise the child (who was passionately fond of oranges) gave it back to her, saying, with a rougish twinkle in his bonny blue eye: “ Here, mamma! won't Harry and tell him to di | me. Do you ou please giv ide it to generously with PLB “Who said ‘ work’? I'd lixe to lay my hands 02 the man,”