Judge — January 22, 1887 — page 3: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Midge: think the mugwumps would go half mad about nd they doubtless would had they not loug: Watterson, McLean, Halstead, Dana are said to have combined in behalf d against Cleveland and the mug-| If editorial matter speaks louder than nees.there is something in the statement, and we have further proof in the fact that Messrs. Dana and Watterson strenu- y it. Still, it is annoying to hav wumps. vocal utte! ous! the procession started before the leaders of it! have put themselves in marching order. THEIR ARDENT APPECTION. The president and our governor understand each other pretty well. “You let me alone and I'll let you atone” is the basis of their warm affection, and the warning is written in the pulsating air, ‘If you don’t there will be a cireus and the opponents of the Democratic party will occupy all the front seats and the private boxes.” That's the kind of love they have for each other. It isn’t warm and sunny and demonstrative, and it won't be until it is time to stop the coy dissembl.ng and kick each other down stai NOT WR. CONKLING'S FAULT. at many Democratic papers have been «for Mr. Conkling for senator. It is possible that the gentleman uppreciates the unselfish and wholly disinterested kindness of those organs at its full value, and if he does he must fecl as rich as the man who, having been mercilessly robbed, hadn't a dime nor a pocket to put it in. But he isn’t to blame for the paucity or the quality of the imaginary genersity. He has had some reverses, but heaven knows he never invited such impecu- niosity as that. COME UP, MR. LOWELL! William Blaikie says that when Julian Hawthorne left Harvard he was four and one- half inches larger around the chest than John L Sulli nd that had he trainea for the ring he could have knocked the world's champion out in five minutes. It may be ob- served that Mr, James Russell Lowell has not been heard from lately. Of course, he is too old a man to be argued with except in the way of kindness by Mr. Hawthorne; but how generous he would be if, failing to take a mean advantage of his helplessness, he were to send to the amiable athlete the ample apology that is the latter's due. THE BLOOD OF THE MARTYRS. Iucy Sweet Barber of Alfred, Allegany county, succeeded in voting, and for days the suffrage she is to undergo trial at the hands of the general government, and there is a dreadful es have been praising her; but! A GOOD APPLICATION. : | The modern cash system and how it could be adapted between the acts in our theatres and 50 save much discomfort to the neighbors of the) gentlemen who wish to go out and see a man.” prospect that the consequent tears will mingle| with themselves alone. This is not to say that} |the dear ladies who sympathize with prosperity are not equally at home with the opposing ele: |ment; but it cannot be urged that Mrs. Bar- ber has murdered anybody, and again she would doubtless scorn to divide her imprison ment and fine with other persons if she had a chance. Then, too, Allegany county is up in the wilderness and the trains run so irregularly now. | GOOD FRIENDS, The Pittsburg Dispatch presents the ques-| tion ‘Who is the greatest man?” We must beg that the discussion be postponed a few |years. Toa modest man it is extremely pain- ful to have those things said which ought to \be reserved for the obituary column. not said, bear in mind, through an appreciation of the kindness of the Pittsburg} Dispatch, which has ever been only too gen- erous ; but praise approaches dignity never so| serenely as when the subject of it has closed his ears against the world and his cheeks are) as alabaster against the blush of conscious per- fection. A VERY GENEROUS MAN. There is a man in Albany who proposes to furnish the money for a proper monument to |Grant. He writes for the Expressof that city, and occasionally writes so intelligently that he cannot reasonably be accused of intentional otherwise interpreted, would place him in the attitude of the dog that occupied the manger. The dog in question was finally knocked on the head, scraped up with other refuse of the establishment on a shovel, and tossed out of the aperture provided for that purpose. THE FIRST LADY'S UMQUE COLLECTION. Mrs. Cleveland has a dog that barks and a monkey that cuts up. There is shown here a fondness for pets which cannot be wholly grat- ified by the president; and the consequent deyel- opment may includea menagerie, an aquarium, an ornithological collection, and rare specimens. of animated fur, fin and feather of ery na- ture. The good lady has thus far exhibited no predilection for curious pets bel« nging to the : but that is only a question of time, and in due season she will doubtless _pos- sess at least imitations of such “Democra run Butlers, shout for Blaines, scream against free trade, and give their influence wholly to the opposition ; such inanity as_ gives itself up to affectation in dress and conversation, and such political unspeakables as hug themselves in the pleasing belief that they represent the nstitution, the gospel and the laws. Per- haps, however, she needn't send out fora repre- sentative mugwump. She may possibly find the very largest, finest specimen within the walls of the white house itself, “I KNOW NOT WHAT TO SAY,” remarked a prominent Democrat who was invited to a Jackson banquet. ‘* For heavens sake!” ex- claimed another prominent Democrat, “you mustn't think of that. You must ju: out what not to say.” And so, lik the others, he sent a letter of regret in which he didn’t say anything. THE PRESIDENT REC Y received with extra kindness and gave a considerable audi- ence toa young man whom he had pardoned out of the penitentiary. Perhaps, now, if Henry Watterson get himself into prison he will meet with a reception at the white house that will please him better. NOT USED TO SYMPAiHY. “Come in, my poor man,” said a benevolent lady to a ragged tramp, “and I will get you something to eat.” “Thanky, mum; don't care if I do.” ““T suppose,” continued the lady, setting a square meal before him, * your life has been full of trials ¢” “Yis, mum; an’ the wust of it wuz I allus got convicted.” TOBOGANNING. unfairness or discourtes; We believe he is ready to furnish the money in question for the reason that he doesn’t want anybody else to furnish it; and this inference is warranted | from the fact that his profuse perspiration, if . Miss Angelina—" Yes very well, but you never know whether you will come back alive or dead.” toboganning is all Mr. Fitz Herbert — “Er—you've always come back alive, I suppose, Miss Angelina 7”