Judge — January 22, 1887 — page 2: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

case is to grind him up and reconstruct him from material furnished by somebody else. THE MONKEY PRESENTED to Mrs. Cleveland is wiser than the parrot of Mrs. Carlisle. For instance, itis constantly chattering, with the rest of the Democracy, ‘* 1 ain't for free trade either.” message on the labor question which was scissored from the JupGE, though we ueve' did want to furnish a jaw-bone for the oppo- sition. THEY SAY THAT when Grover wants to ex- press supreme annoyance he lifts his hand: with horror and screams at the height of his voice, ‘Take it away! It looks too much like Bourke Cochran.” a | THE Toronto MAN WHO took aconite to cure W. J. AweLL : fi Hauay Re Hart |@ cold inadvertently adopted the old radical rege Outsx | cure, taking the orthodox view of it—he re- sorted to perspiration and it worked excessively. Because he is dead. PUBLISHED ONCE A WEEK Preident = = = - =~ = Vice-President Art Department Rattor - TERMS TO SUBSCRIBERS UNITED STATES AND CANADA. IN ADVANCE. ‘One copy, one year, or St numbers, . . Ernest SCHILLING says he shall make no fuss about the absence of his wife; and but for his declaration that he will receive her if she chooses to return we should begin to think ‘Single coptes 10 centa eacl > him rather more than worthy of her. THE JUDGE PUBLISHING COMPANY, POTTER BUILDING, Park Row, New York, Some pay the Albany Times expects to see somebody die who wasn’t intimate with Col- |onel Ingersoll and Thomas Ochiltree. The Times is lamentably ignorant. That man died more than eighteen hundred years ago. THE LATER VERSION—It i: McGlynn. “MCQUADE IS BEAT! rary. We trust so, ,"" Says a contempo- s With many stripes. y says Abraham Lincoln = ould have loved ; and ce that General remarks that Mrs. stlous woman he ever Susan B. was the only it is a curious circums | Badeau simultaneous Lincoln was the most knew, WHISTLER, THE ARTIST, was born in Balti- more; but it wasn’t his fault, and besides he is very much out of the woods now. ei SOMEBODY SAYS a man i precisely what his food makes him.” We have long suspected the absorption of by far too much pork. THE AMENITIES OF POLITICS must be pre- served; and when Senator Arkell remarks that |Warner Miller is a political guy, sir, he A Troy PAPER Albany has reached the threatens to fracture them and somewhat dignity of a way station. We should say so. Who that has been to Dannemora can deny it ? strains the whole structure of our orthographj- cal liberties. THERE 18 NOTHING so persistent as freckles Ifa woman had the dogged perseverance and |endurance of a freckle she might in every in. | stance extend her sphere from that of a inere speck to that of a sunny and beautiful splotch. IT MUST BE ADMITTED that as between “Chet” Cole and ‘Charley” Walker, the chairmen respectively of the Republican and Democratic state committees, the latter is by all odds the ablest and most unscrupulous falsifier. DISTRIBUTE YOUR POLITENESS with discrim. lination. Nothing offends a Boston maiden more than to offer her the better half of your umbrella during a storm; and in Chi |same courtes; tempt to tread on the lad; | ingin corns. TECUMSEH SHERMAN never refused a kiss but ‘once. She was a colored lady and her extrava- gance of lip subdued his ambition. Indeed, he was so mad that he whirled around and \cursed the free and unbridled press, and then ordered the destruction of Columbus, Indiana. Ir HAS BEEN sat that Warner Miller “doesn't go very heavy on his soldier record.” | Now we happen to know that Mr. Miller had jone of the finest substitutes in the service. He was a drummer-boy at Chepultepec, and when he. was mustered out of the late disturbance he resembled several of the ablest candidates for [speaker be hadn't a leg to stand on. A BEECHER TRIUMPH. Young Mr. Beecher failed as collectoref cus. at Port Townsend, Wyoming. The senate not only refused to confirm him, but there were serious charges against him. But he is madea special agent of the treasury nevertheles ; not, we think, to vindicate him, but to show that the elder Mr. Beecher and Mr. Cleveland are inno- cent. Itis such a queer case that we should THE LATE JACKSON BANQUETS are chiefly recalled as events which most leading Demo- | crats were extremely anxious to stay away from PROGRESS OF DI I? HAS COME TO BE a foregone conclusion in} every ance that Governor Hill ought to have appointed the other man. N.C. Moak says so himself. Tae RUMOR. THAT Ira Davenport will marry | Miss Clinton of this city comes to us with the pleasant sensation attending the breaking up| of a hard winter, GENERAL SHERID. SOLE OBJECTION to the new pension building in Washington is that it} is fireproof. But that is quite an objection. For instance, so is sheol. THE MOST CONSPICUOUS PART of the Jackson banquet at Cincinnati was the sudden and ser ious illness of Allen G. Thurman ; but he re- covered as soon as it was over. Ir 1s TRUE THAT Gop made the country, but the legislature is wrong in its apparent suppo- sition that he apportioned it with respect to the several congressional districts. WE DO NOT DESPAIR of improvement in , the average liar. All that is needed in~ his There goes me hod an’ shov janyous that runs in ther famil; “That gurrul of moine ‘ill be afther decoratin’ ECORATIVE ART. irything purty soon. her sowl! She's not ter blame fur the