Judge — January 8, 1887 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

r ill Mins | We The streets were th And the cold it was extremely cold, For a sharp east wind did blow. “ Ah,” said Smith, “I do not mind This w! For hi stling wind at all, ve I not an ulster coat He went to get the ulster coat From the closet under the stair, But when he came to look within The closet it was bare. He hunted high, he hunted low Till he was nearly blind. He searched in every corner That ulster coat to find. He set police upon the track, And did not count the cost, But their efforts were in vain To find the coat he'd lost. Charlie!” cried his loving ans this dreadful row 7” “T've lost my ulster coat,” sail he; “Treally don't know how. “Oh, you foolish, foolish boy !” And she gave her skirts a rustle. “T've used that ulster coat of yours All winter for a bustle.” MODEL ADVERTISEMENTS. The object of an advertise- ment is to call attention to something. The more the peo- ple are induced to read it by reason of its peculiar setting or phraseology the better it serves its purpose. Strange to say, most advertisers overlook this fact and follow in the footsteps of unnumbered generations. Their ‘‘ads” as a result are sel- dom read and do but little good. Occasionally a bright — star breaks across the firmament and a new style is discovered of gaining the public eye. Such an event occurred when the poet Rogers published his fa mous lines YOU ARE A CHUMP If you say my poems are not Or when Colonel Texas Knox excogitated his DON'T BE A CLAM, But read my writings, 8. Yet there is no reason why advertisements should not be asattract-) ive and diverse as reading matter. se a dozen novelties in an hour. of vital statistics in the daily paper. Any person of imagination can for instance, the-column This is read carefully by two per- The other morn when Smith sons out of three and yet has never been utilized by the business man. he following examples would seen by million BORN—Yesterday, to Mr. Binslow, 2,000 gross of his famous infants’ soothing poison. MARRIED—Hennx—Hooo—Larded chickens will be a special feature to-day at Vermicelli’s restau. rant. Dr. Peanutta, the distinguished chef, wil] officiate, Sorn—J -At All Souls’, Nov, 1, 1840, Professor John Smith to Mary Jones. They are still using Smith's Vaseline for the skin. DIED—Lamp—Genuine dyed lamb’s wool underwear on the bargain counter at Stacy's all this week, The scientific column can be utilized with equal hick with snow, | ease: DISCOVERY OF A NEW PLANET. SMITHSONIAN INSTITUTE, l Wasuincton, Nov. 1. { Professor Peters of Columbia university, the fa mous astronomer, while studying the heavens last night, discovered a new and brilliant light, S. E. 42 degrees 16 minutes Upon turning his glass upon it he saw that it was the New York Comet, JUST THE THING. OLp RUM VETERAN—“ I'll apply for that situation at once.” which, under a superb management and despite the ruffianly and loath- some conduct of the Earth, can be purchased for two cents at avy news-stand. ‘A NEW CHEESE POISON. Paris, Nov. 1. The annual prize of 10,000 fr. given by the French government for the most important discovery in chemistry during the year has been \awanded to Professor J. C. Pulitzer, who discovered a deadly microbe in cheese which he has named Tyrotoxicon Butyricum. A rabbit jinoculated with it dies in five minutes, Bunch & Sauerkraut, the New York tobacco house, have offered him $5,000 to discover anything poi | sonous in their new opedildoc cigarettes. Under “ Amusements this Evening.” Buy a bottle of Jones's Vermifuge. Wear an electric belt. Use Arsenic Wafers. | Under Musical. Maltese cats for sale at Blodger’s.