Judge, 1886-12-25 · page 4 of 27
Judge — December 25, 1886 — page 4: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three separate satirical pieces typical of late 19th-century American humor: **"A Rhyme for Lucy"** (left): A sentimental Christmas poem mocking romantic verse conventions—the author (DeWitt Sterry) deliberately writes awkwardly to parody overwrought love poetry and flowery greeting-card sentimentality. **"Strauss Has Christmas"** (top right): A narrative sketch about poor German immigrants on Christmas Eve. Strauss (likely a working-class character, given the German dialect) discusses with Johnny, a newsboy, whether to abandon religious belief following Robert Ingersoll's atheist arguments. The story depicts working-class poverty and immigrant skepticism toward traditional Christmas values—socially relevant commentary on immigration and secularism. **"A Pointer for the Profession"** (bottom right): A cartoon mocking burglars disguised as Santa Claus, stealing silver. This jokes about crime exploiting holiday traditions—a practical "tip" for thieves that simultaneously critiques holiday commercialism and urban crime concerns of the era. The overall tone reflects Judge's satirical approach to contemporary social issues: sentimentality, religious doubt, poverty, and urban criminality.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
A RHYME FOR L (WITH A CHRISTMAS CARD.) ers ing hall for relitebus liberty s dem saidt dot y slaves t unt humpugs of der bast. Dot's all right. Dot's der deefrance between a shackass unt a mans, A shackass aind got no ¢ tions unt humpugs. Uf he - oats unt blenty uf oldt crockery crates unt proons he vas gontented. Tell me, tender sweet- No one made answer. Bimby Hofensack sat braced in a corner heart mine, with his wooden leg unshipped and lying across a chair, Mike Swartz Think you that in had an empty beer mug on the table before him and was wiping the stumbling line table with his empty sleeve and occasionally looking up at the clock In a metre crudely with an anxious gaze. On the edge of the box of sand where the coal- dressed, stove stood, glowing like another light-house on a sandy coast, stood Love is half so well Johuny the newsboy. It snowed outside and his papers were wet. He confomed It was Christmas eve and Johny looked sad, for poor, Strauss pulled at his pipe, then resumed : As when two ! Persons view inept “Uf you gif up all dem humpugs dot Pob Ingersoll spruken aboud you loose alretty Telltale Dlostien lecply glowing? | some fine dings. Vot you dink apoud Christmas unt Santa Claus, Chonny 7 Bee a tests, | “We used ter go in atrong fer that kind of racket, Strauss. It was nice fer the kids before e from know’ one is growing ? A POINTER FOR THE PROFESSION. as a nimble wretel Other men may deftly tr: Portraits of his dimpled fac With his darts As ‘tis said he did of yore: While i . Stilted poesy Show they legendary lore— Purchased at a corner store, And U fear a lithograph With a strong, Love-sick song Written ‘neath a midnight taper, On a scented, Ornamented Sheet of musty parchment paper— Quite a boarding-school girl's caper. And this foolish, stumbling verse Mas no complimenting terse, Bears no promise unto thee Of undying loyalty : Lest its n And Byronic melancholy, In the hopeful Envelope full Tosay (looking in at door)—‘* Gracious, Fred ! there's Santa Claus. Ifhesees us we won't Would but start a postman’s jolly get any presents, 80 let's go to bed quick.” Laughter at my stupid folly. BUROLAR (disguised ax St, Nick)}—‘‘ Well, dis Santa Claus racket is de bosses’ one I've DEWITT STERRY. struck yet, and all solid silver too.” ¥ comicbooks.com