Judge — November 27, 1886 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

+ utmost ease. DRAWING THE LINE. ape: the wishbone; not necessa- | rily for publication, but as an assurance of a second term. The Albany Argus seems by the late Mr. Iscariot; but we still have our suspicions of Joseph Pulitzes Kate Field regards Wash- ington as the parlor city of the country, perhaps for the reason that it is occupied for | the most part by transient visitors. Well, if those Charleston- ians got anything like this I don’t wonder they object toit. Is there anything left of San Francisco t—P. Ryan. “What do you think of Smith?” “Smith? Well, Smith looks to me like one of those chaps who are liable to blow out the gas.” “When they come to the gate, Tom, tell’em you anything to eat for two days; but don't take no turkey ‘cause I've | got a basket half filled with it now an’ we won't git nothin’ much else until after New Year's. Both Dr. Mary Walker and Victoria Schilling are men. tioned for the editorship of Literary Life. Why Dr. Walker? She never ran | away with anybody, did haven't had hasn't, It is a false assumption, but it will be good enough till after Thanksgiving. Warner Miller cannot grind again with the) water that has passed; but he is ready to give thanks because he thinks he can order up a new supply. Mr. Conkling is devout over an income of over $100,000 a year and the knowledge that Oneida county elected a Democratic president. Chauncey M. Depew gives thanks with a mellifluous flow of words and ideas that shows that they come from the heart and with the Chronic thing with Chauncey. Rose Elizabeth Cleveland is so rejoiced to have got rid of Elder that she will sing for joy for three weeks to come. The probibitionists feel that their cause is crippled, and until a cure is effected will casu- ally take a little hard cider behind the door} and smile as if it did them good. Jacob Sharp can have one more turkey in the blessed light of freedom. This is glory enough for Jacob for one d Min of the Court. “Say, fellers! Want to look at my sore thumb ?"—G. Cleveland. Bear this in mind. If you're not registered you're not eligible to any of the turkey. A young lady in Illinois is named Shorthose, and we have to take her word that itis no such thing. Acorrespondent wants to know what retribu- tion is, Well, Sam Cox has been sent back to congress. When a man buys a Waterbury wateh it is | place in the presiden reflect, now that the cold weather is here, that | one place is provided for anyhow. The Troy Press says Boston has a warm heart. It is good to Disarrorstep cat—" Just my luck ! | tothink the World is edited| THANKSGIVING MORNING. The Elmira Telegram says there is no such thing as free trade. That really seems to be the case—since election. Mr. Cleveland can give thanks because things can never be so bad that he can't give thanks that they are no worse. “When isa bore not a bore?” asks the Washington Post. When he stops asking |such silly questions, my boy. It may be remarked, from the fuss made over him when he shot himself, that freedom shrieked when Frederick Archer fell. THE QUDE, He is so weak he would complain Anything home to fetch, Yet he'll lug a ten-pound walking-cane Ten hours at astretch. THE SMALL BOY. ‘Whene'er the small boy makes a racket Or annoys his mother with his tunes, She is sure to say she'll warm his jacket, Though she always warms his pantaloons- OLD CHOCOLATE’S TARGET PRACTICE Hit and Miss Shots, with Now and then a Bull's Eye. A rainy day am a mighty good ‘scuse fo’ a lazy man Yo’ kin allus buy, but sellin’ am anoddah | mattah. Many a man tum'les w'en he t'inks de footin’ |am good. Eben ahoss, wid fo’ legs, ull fall. De faamah’s: dog doan’ laik watahmellens, but dat ain't no sign he'll let yo" git um. A man hab allus got room toe men’ his habits. Hit’s a mighty po’ coat dat won't stan’ patehi Ef yo" go into paat- makship wid de deb- bil, yo’ er boun’ to whine obah de divis- ion ob be spoil. Dar’s many a lady dat tells huh poodle dog tings dat ‘er husban’ doan’ dream ob. De man w'at kin borrer a measha ob meal hyar an’ a peck ob pa'snips dar a’n't laikly toe be de lowes biddah on a job o' witewashin’, Honah in_ pol'tics am a mighty good doctrine ; but yo" kin make up yo’ min’ dat de man w’o buys an office mus’ sell suflin’ to git eben. Hit doan’ much brain toe covah injustice. Ef yo’ tink hit do, chuck a bit ob meat toe anoddah’s dog t is reasonable to suppose that his physician has| ¢,_ Here I've been starving myself recommended exercise. It is understood that J wen yo’ own am hungry. J. A. WALDRON. the last week, so that I might be in good condition toeat some roast __ |turkey, and now there comes that butcher's boy into the house with a leg . Cleveland claims |of mutton for dinner. Rats !”